A mixed bag of science tricks

The Edinburgh Science Festival. It had been a long awaited event, and was happening for the first time in India, brought to Bangalore by the efforts of mycity4kids.

We went on Sunday, with some friends - a couple with two children. It was quite a long drive to Bhartiya City, which had rented out their extensive grounds. The directions were easy enough, and when we reached there around 11am, there was already a crowd, and a long line at the ticket counters. Fortunately we had booked tickets online the day before, so we had to stand in a much shorter line to get them. Fortunately, too, as the tickets were sold out just around noon, and many people had to be turned away despite having come long distances, if they had not booked in advance, online.

First, the good.

There were large tents around, which housed the different exhibits. These were arranged quite far apart, with plenty of open space, interspersed with pavilions that had small tables and plenty of chairs.

Drinking water and large garbage bins were placed at convenient places.

There was a food court at one end, with plenty of eating options, from pizza/ sandwiches/ burgers/ frankies, to dosas, biryani, parathas, fried chicken, some Chinese stuff (that didn't look too good), as also tea/ coffee/ fresh lime sodas/ ice cream. You don't have to carry any food or water at all.

The exhibits themselves were in three categories.

There were the shows that were put on every hour - two different shows that alternated throughout the day. These were on an open stage, with plenty of space to sit/ stand in the front. In the format of a play, many scientific principles were explained, and the children in the audience were encouraged to participate and interact with those on stage. This was easy for even 5-6 year-olds to understand.

Next, there were the exhibits which were in tents, but open to both the children and the adults. Many of these were presented by some wonderful people from Indian organisations like mylearnbuddy, Fun Lab, ScienceAdda, and ScienceUtsav, whom I discovered thanks to this festival. The presenters were very knowledgeable, and could satisfactorily answer any questions, and had a way with words that kept the children engaged. Since parents were at hand, even little kids were permitted inside, and yes, they, too, were encouraged to interact and ask questions.

Third, were those that were only for children. These were the most interesting, and the most in demand.

1. Forensic Science - Be a Spy, was presented by Indian Forensic Organisation. The children went in here immediately upon entering the campus, and thoroughly enjoyed solving a murder mystery.
2. Emergency Room. This was facilitated by Columbia Asia Hospitals. Children wore the disposable green gowns that most hospitals use these days and actually performed surgical procedures on life-size rubber dummies. Removing a cyst, removing gallstones using scissor forceps and a laparoscope, and cleaning and treating a realistic deep thigh wound were some of the things that A reported doing. The gowns were their souvenirs.
3. Splat -Tastic. What child does not enjoy playing with something that adults find slimy and yucky? This one was about physics and chemistry dealing with viscosity and stickiness of substances. The kids even created some of their own and came out with slimeballs in paper cups to take home.
4. Pongy Potions. The very name got A thinking of Harry Potter, Severus Snape, and Potions classes. Unlike those, though, these were great fun. This one is about scents and smells. Fragrant and stinky. The children had great fun messing around with them, and came out with fragrances that they had created using veg oil base, and an array of essential oils. What did A use? Lemongrass, vanilla, and patchouli. Why? She said she liked them the best.
5. Sound and Light shapes. This was very interesting - at least what the children described was. One of the things here was a row of flames that were connected to a recording of a piece of western classical music, and the flames danced in response to the decibel levels. Sounds interesting.

Next, the not-so-good.

The above-listed ones were what the adults had been looking forward to most, but we were disappointed to be kept out of all the fun. These also had the longest lines. After sending the kids in for Be a Spy, we adults had chilled out under one of the nearby pavilions with some cold drinks. That was our mistake. After a while, we realized that the lines at all the exhibits were beginning to grow like Hanuman's tail, and if we didn't do something about it, we would end up having a wasted day on our hands. So we decided to make full use of our mobiles, and stood in line in pairs. The husband and his friend together, and the friend's wife and I together. As soon as the children got out of one place, they were ushered in for the one where we were closer to the entrance. Lunch time meant that I went to stand in a very long queue at the frankie counter (the children's choice of meal) and got one for each one of them. A quick munch between two exhibits, and they were sent on to the next one. As soon as we were sure they would be able to enter The Emergency Room, that had the longest duration, of 40 mins, I went to stand in a food line again, this time for parathas for the adults. We had our picnic sitting on the grass near the tent when they went in to do their operations. Hot sun above, shamianas for shade for those standing in queues not yet put up at all places - it tired us out a lot. Between us, we consumed more than 10 litres of water (we bought the water bottles there, as the drinking water drums were set up sometime around 4pm, and I kept a count), probably the only reason we lasted out there under the blazing sun all day. We hadn't checked the festival site properly, and had not carried the requisite caps, etc.

Verdict.

We were there from 11am to around 6pm. The children thoroughly enjoyed themselves, no doubt about that. They learnt much of science in a fun way, as science should ideally be learnt.

There is stuff for younger kids as well as for older ones. Actually for most 6+ year olds. Some, like Be a Spy, are for 8+ kids.

Be ready to do the kid-sitting. No use trying to get into exhibits where adults were permitted if you do not have a person with you who is not really interested, and who will agree to stand in the queue while you go take a look. Or at least be prepared with a book, to take turns at queuing up and going to learn some science.

Take caps, hats, sun protection - we've come back with some really painful sunburns. Unless the weekend was about teething troubles and the shade-providing shamianas for queues are now up.

The shows, though very kid-oriented, can get kind of boring for adults. Be ready to sit through it with your children, or sit it out at a pavilion with a cold drink and a book/ some socializing, while the kids enjoy themselves.

Book your tickets in advance online. So that you don't reach there to find them sold out.

Weekends can get a bit crowded, but most exhibits can be covered in the whole day. A visit on the weekday may not really work if the venue is very far for you. The day is for schools exclusively, and the gates are open for families and the general public from  4,30pm to 8pm. That might not be enough time. Not unless you study the list of exhibits at the festival website, choose what interests you most, and target those in the time you have. Evenings can also mean rain, so although the exhibits are in covered, enclosed spaces, arm yourself for the rain while you sit it out at queues or having a drink.

The actual festival in Edinburgh is a much more extensive one, with more than 200 exhibits, with the whole town joining in joyfully. While the one in Bangalore is nowhere near that, it is at least a beginning.

I also wish more people were interested in this sort of thing. I expected more familiar faces. Among all those who attended on Sunday, the only other face I recognised was that of A's science teacher at school. While malls feature high on most people's lists of places to go to on a weekend, science should, but doesn't.

One thing that struck me was - if we develop a similar infrastructure, and if there is political will, we have our own wonderful scientific communities, who can put up something comparable. Now that's a thought worth mulling over.

The tie that binds...and is cherished

pic courtesy google images

Today is rakshabandhan. A day for celebrating the bond of brothers and sisters. The tradition is that a sister ties a sacred thread on the wrist of her brother, praying for his long life. In return, the brother promises to care for and protect the sister. 

Sexist, isn't it? I thought so, too, until quite recently. I would tie the rakhis to my brothers' and various cousins' wrists every year, and they would make snide (to my mind) jokes about 'protecting' me. I would get angry, upset, and just trouble myself. Despite being in a very traditional, patriarchal household, I was a closet feminist, and all this made me chafe.

Over the years, all these brothers and cousins have gone their various ways, the trajectories of each one's life different. Many ups and many downs. Circumstances change. People evolve. A person does not remain the same person that they were 20 years ago.

Today, I came across this wonderful article by Natasha Badhwar in Livemint. She has two brothers, and she, too, chafed under the connotations of this tradition. She says,

"I have value for tradition that binds. That underlines how we are equals despite differences. Not one that imposes roles and choices that feel blatantly false, that don’t fit the reality of our lives. I own my relationship with my brothers. It is the purest thing in my life. Underneath the obvious one, is a secret bond."

 

So true. I, too, have two brothers. We have spent the larger part of our lives away from each other. One in the US, one in Mumbai, and I here. Yet, our shared history means we can pick up seamlessly from where we had left, and rakshabandhan is just another bond that binds us closer. Despite all the fights we (still) have. These brothers have given me sisters-in-law who are more friends than relations by marriage. Isn't that relationship, too, a creation of the sibling bond?

So even as I chafe at the idea of 'protection of brothers', I revel in the tie of the rakhi - one that is for ever. The protection, as I have realized, goes both ways. And I encourage the same bond between my daughter and her boy-cousins. Wherever they are. Wherever they will be in the future.

 

Happy Rakshabandhan.

Trips, books, friends, anniversaries and much else

I haven't posted for a long time now: my previous two posts had been scheduled. I had been busy with a lot of things that needed my attention. Just a quick re-cap.

A went on an 8-day school trip in early October. This is the first time that we had stayed away from each other for so long. In a way it was harder on me than it was on her. Children look forward- their life is just beginning, and everything that happens is just a new and interesting thing that is welcomed with open arms. As the Lebonese poet-philosopher Khalil Gibran has said, "...their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams." It is so much tougher on us mothers- so difficult to let go. I coped by making a trip to Mumbai, to my parents' place.

There, I met the wonderful R's Mom. This was a long awaited meeting. I've been reading her work for many months now, bumping into her at many friends' blogs, but had connected with her as one book-loving-mommy-blogger to another quite recently. She was all that I had imagined and much more. We met at a mall near my parents' place, she being so sweet as to make the longer journey from her home. What began as a couple of hours' meeting in the morning stretched far beyond the afternoon as we yakked away, until our rumbling stomachs got us to go get some lunch. There was of course a bit of book-shopping thrown in.

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CROCUS 2012 has just ended, and has thrown up a wonderful mix of Math and Eco-Science books that are now added to my wish-list. It has been six wonderful years of Saffron Tree, of which I have been a contributor for the last two-and-a-half years. During CROCUS, we had sent out a call for book donations for a cause- for an NGO KRANTI that works for a marginalised section of society, children of sex-workers.

Speaking of anniversaries, PaperTigers has a wonderful10th anniversary giveaway: a drool-worthy set of books. Do visit them and check out how you can win these books for yourself / your library. The giveaway is open for entry until midnight PST of Saturday, 10th November.

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A few of my articles were published on Women's Web. An article on Handling Parenting Peer Pressure that speaks of the pressure parents feel when faced with anther's parenting style that somehow feels better or cooler. An article about 5 family rituals for diwali that could be fun times with the kids. And this review of a book that deals with a women's issue that is not unknown to urban women. Quoting:

"We are often led to believe in the myth of innocence and simplicity in rural life. Our movies and popular literature often perpetuate this myth; but P. Sivakami debunks it in The Taming Of Women.

A gritty, hard-hitting and relentlessly abrasive novel, the book is a very realistic portrayal of life in a village on the way to developing into a town. The violence is just below the surface, boiling over at times, and overwhelming the reader.

The book offers a striking insight into the minds of the women – who are often pitted against each other in their battle for supremacy, yet co-operate at the unlikeliest of places to stand up against the man who leaves no stone unturned to subdue them."

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One last thing before I conclude- November is celebrated internationally as Picture Book Month. You may want to check out the wonderful posts over at Zoe's blog Playing by the Book all through this month.

Do check out these lovely picture book giveaways there, too.

Even though our reading here has moved beyond picture books, there are a few classics that we keep revisiting. As also some newer ones that are still relevant. Do check out the stuff in your own book-shelves that is worth re-reading!

Being the 'good bahu'

It has been a crazy week plus, and I haven't been able to find time for this space!

Among other things, I wrote this article that got published on Womensweb today. I had to fit the writing of it around a score of other things that I had to do.

A nephew has landed his first job in the city, and he and his mother, my sister-in-law were here for a week. She and I (with nephew and kid in tow if it was a holiday) would start out after breakfast everyday to scout for a place to stay for him. In the process, I learnt one thing- houses built here by the house-owner's design are terrible in terms of layout, ventilation, natural light, spaciousness, basic plumbing facilities, width of staircases that lead up to the topmost floor on which the 'house to rent' is usually placed, as an addendum to the independent house in which the landlord stays...the list could go on.

My pet peeve is the positioning of toilet/bathrooms. One gets inside the main door, and a door to one side immediately opens to a toilet. Followed by the kitchen, and then another room next to it. This is what Sangi had to say about this strange (to my Mumbai mind- we don't mind small rooms, but need the main door to open into a living room!):  It has do something with the fact that most South Indians need to wash their feet immediately on stepping into the house- a reason for the bad design!

I have also gone sari-shopping (GASP) with the sis-in-law who has bought some breathtakingly beautiful saris for what seems to my mind an obscene amount of money. Sigh! The books that I could have bought for that, or the people who could have been fed!

Both A and I have thoroughly enjoyed this visit by extended family. A has been having a wonderful time bonding with them, something she misses so much being an only child, and most of our relations in Mumbai or elsewhere.

RIP, Jan Berenstain!

Berenstain Bear Books

Written and illustrated by Stan & Jan Berenstain

Published by Random House books for Young Readers

Ages: 4-8 years

One half of a pair of writers who created one of A's favourite book series, passed away on friday, 24th February 2012. Jan Berentstain was the co-creator of the Berenstain Bears books, with her writer-illustrator husband Stan Berenstain, who passed away 7 years ago. She was 88. Co-incidently, the first book created and published in this series was The Big Honey Hunt written for The Cat in the Hat beginner book series in 1962 at the behest of Dr Seuss (Theodor Geisel), whose birthday falls on 2nd March.

A loves the Berenstain Bears Books, and we have tried to collect them all. Every time we visit a book store, she checks out their collection from the series, and we pick up the ones we don't yet have. They feature a family of bears living in a tree house (adventure!) - goofy, lovable Papa Bear, sensible, wise Mama Bear, with Sister Bear and Brother Bear, their everyday lives, the ordinary things that matter to them, the things they learn and do, and the scrapes they get into.    

When she was younger, heck, even now, the wisdom in these books guides her through many dilemmas- over and above a heart-to-heart discussion. The books make it easier for us both in considering how to approach a particular situation. Whether it was her fear of the dark, an annoying habit that she picked up somewhere, dealing with peer pressure, focusing on fixing a problem instead of trying to fix the blame,  taking a sensible stand when someone says- "I dare you to...", dealing with jealousy, stranger danger or bullies, learning about money...you name it, the Berenstain Bears had a book about it.

One does have to keep in mind, though, that even though the books offer, sensible, home-grown advice in a palatable, story form, many of these books have been written in the 60s and 70s, and there may be some dating of the context. One also needs to be mindful of some gender/racial stereotyping, much like that in the otherwise wonderful books by Enid Blyton.

A wonderful collection of books that is fun to read for both child and parent alike. We have spent many happy hours reading them together, discussing them, and returning to them again and again at any time a relevent situation presented itself. A great help to parents who may not have the luxury of an easily accesible extended family!

RIP, Jan Berenstain!

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Pictures courtesy Google Images. Crossposted at Saffrontree..

   

Book review: Letters from a Father to His Daughter

Letters from a Father to His Daughter
Written by Jawaharlal Nehru
Published by Puffin Books, Penguin books India
Ages 8+ yrs

A father and his daughter. The bond has to be seen to be believed. When I see A and her father together, the affection is palpable. They often get into discussions about deep things- of late it has been religion, as we have friends of many faiths, and gender issues, especially those encountered at school!

By the nature of his work in the struggle for the freedom of India, Nehru was often away from his family, and his daughter was away at boarding school. Letters being the prime means of communication at the time, Nehru wrote these, which, according to the foreword written by him, were 'personal letters addressed to a little girl, ten years of age.' They, however, speak of many things. In the preface, written in 1973, Indira Gandhi writes, "they deal with the beginnings of the earth and of man's awareness of himself. They were not merely letters to be read and put away...they taught one to treat nature as a book."

The letters speak of the beginnings of the universe, the formation of the earth and its landforms, of pre-history, the beginnings of mankind, the migration of human beings- he shows great learning and vision in his conclusions- "It may be that the German and the Negro are descended from different types of men, but some time or other they must have had the same ancestor. The differences must therefore have come in by the process of adaption to their surroundings...so we find that people's complexions are the result of the climate they live in. They have nothing to do with the worthiness or goodness or beauty of a person." Explained wonderfully in this vein in language easy enough for a 10 yr old to understand.

He goes on to speak of races, religion- early beliefs and faiths, religions as we know them now, languages- the beginnings of communication by making meaningful sounds, of making meaningful marks leading to writing, of the relationships of the different languages of the world. He speaks of civilisation, the division of labour - leading to the patriarch- which led later to kings and kingdoms. And of ancient civilisations all over the world. About trade and travel.

He speaks of the coming of the Aryans to India, and the Ramayana and the Mahabharatha- I loved the simple way in which he has explained the gist of these great epics- again, putting them in an interesting perspective.

Of the Ramayana, he says, "The Ramayana, as you know, is the story of Ramchandra and Sita against Ravana, king of Lanka, that is now Ceylon...it may be that the story of the Ramayana is really the story of the fights of the Aryans against the people of the South whose leader was Ravana."

And the Mahabharatha- "It tells of a great fight between Aryans and Aryans. But apart from the fight, it is a wonderful book, full of great ideas and noble stories. Above all, it is dear to all of us because of that jewel of a poem which it contains--the Bhagavad Gita."

The book comprises 30 letters in all, short, independent reads each, or read in a sequence. Each is a story lucidly told, a father's affection for his daughter coming across in each. These letters were written over the summer of 1928, and retain all of their freshness for every child who has the opportunity of reading them. They have to be, of course, read in the context of terminologies used in the early 1900s, some of which might not be politically correct today.

This 2004 edition by Puffin is hardcover, printed on crisp white paper, and an easy-on-the-eyes font. With a fresh foreword by Priyanka Gandhi Vadra, Nehru's great-grand-daughter.

A loved it.

A logical follow-up to this book would be Nehru's Glimpses of World History, which was written from October 1930 to August 1933, as letters addressed from prison to his 13-16 year old daughter,  published much later.

Pic courtesy flipkart. Crossposted at Saffrontree and Bookreviews.

Friends, birthdays and gollus

The kid is safely back at school! So what did we do during these hols?

Attended in all 3 birthday parties. We were all invited as a family to all three, so they were family outings of a sort.

The first was at Gerry Martin Farm. Enjoyable as always. It was Gerry's mother-in-law's 60th birthday. She is a good friend in the complex, as is her daughter, Gerry's wife Yamini.

The next too was at a farmhouse we have been to earlier. Geese Haven is a wonderful farmhouse and homestay just an hour's drive from home, near the Art of Living centre on Kanakpura road. It was A's best friend in the complex, W's birthday. Her mother Jamie had arranged a fun treasure hunt for the kids, which is always a good idea at a place like this.

The third was at my dear friend P's home, her daughter's 11th birthday. We were 6-7 families, all close friends of P. Her cooking is yummy, and as usual we had a wonderful time.

It being Navratri time, there were of course the gollus to visit, as also many kanya-poojas. We were invited to a total of 8 gollus, of which we managed to make it to 6. Actually, I found it a bit unbelievable that this year was just the second time in all my years in Bangalore that I actually went for a gollu! Must thank the blogosphere for that.

Some gollus we visited.

Pic- Artnavy's album

Artnavy's. We had been invited here last year too, but could not make it. Made it a point to go there this year. 

Art had made some yummy payasam that we enjoyed. A and Anush hugged like long-lost sisters and promptly sat down to a spot of artwork- a picture of the Devi mask to be coloured. It had been Aditi's birthday just the week before, and we had not been able to be there for the party, so I had carried a book as a gift. Aditi was thrilled. She sat down cross-legged next to me with the book on her lap, and insisted that 'Aditi read.' I thought she wanted me to read aloud to her, but she demurred. 'Aditi read' meant exactly that. She sat there, turning pages, moving her finger down the text, making 'reading' sounds. It was so hilarious! 

Pic from Sangi's blog

The other notable gollu we visited was at Sangi's lovely home. Visiting Sangi, along with a visit to the famed kilo bookstore, has been long on the to-do list. The kilo book store has been postponed to another date (say when, Sangi. After diwali?) but the gollu was an iron-clad excuse to go over to her new place. It is a dream house, built at many levels, full of natural light, the woods peeping in - there is a wonderful wood-jasmine tree bending over the balcony, showering the balcony with its flowers, and bringing in the fragrance every time a breeze blows in. Went there with Choxbox and her brood (another reason to do this- what A wouldn't give to spend the day with her dear friend, Choxbox's FB, and of course, LB) and had a fab time. Great company, great conversation, lovely coffee, and of course, Loopy! Checked out the book shelf, but forgot the potter's wheel.

There were some gollus we couldn't make it to. Sorry Swapna. Next year! Also wanted to visit the gollu at Dhaatu, which Choxbox has been raving about. It is on till the 21st of October, 3-8pm, so we still have a chance of going. Should certainly try to make it.

Honorable mention under the gollus- the one put up by Choxbox's LB, and to which we were so lovingly invited.



Soft toy and doll gollu at Choxbox's

Pic from Google Images
Search "Diwali killa"

There were three more that we made it to- two in the complex, and one at another of A's friend's home. All of them transported me back to Diwali celebrations of my childhood, when we would make mud and rock forts (Killas- similar to complex sand castles). Work on these would start a week or so before diwali, and we would sow mustard and coriander seeds on it to depict the crops and plants. Toy soldiers on foot and horseback, farmer dolls, domestic and wild animal dolls would be placed at strategic points to complete a picture of the rural lands of Shivaji's time. The fort would be complete with a flag on the top, and would be lighted up by diwali lamps during the festival. Just like the navratri gollus, we would visit each other's houses to see the forts. We have these every diwali at my parents' place- now it is made by my nephew and niece!

Of course there were many play-dates through the holidays- either A had to go to a friend's place, or the gang would descend on our house.

We also watched some long-awaited movies-- something that we do not have much time for during school days. So we watched 'Gods must be Crazy 1 & 2,  'Born Free', 'Beautiful People', 'Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs', and re-runs of Harry Potter, all on DVD.

Books- of course, again. Any free time A had, she picked up a book. I've lost track of all those she devoured.

We also engaged in some mother-daughter cooking sessions, and every day she would decide what she wanted for dinner, and we would proceed to cook it together. A surprised her father one day with a breakfast of aloo paratha, nicely stuffed and rolled out round! I would, of course do all the work at the gas.

All this hectic activity was tempered by holiday homework, among which is a detective story written by her, inspired by a chapter in the curriculum from Emil and the Detectives. Needless to say, the book, too was read- at one sitting. (Thanks, Chox!)

And now, we look forward to a new term at school.

Book Review - THE OTHER SIDE OF SILENCE: Voices from the Partition of India

Pic courtesy flipkart.com

THE OTHER SIDE OF SILENCE
Voices from the Partition of India
Written by Urvashi Butalia
Published by Penguin Books
1998.

Urvashi Butalia, the writer, has impressive credentials. Along with Ritu Menon, she set up Kali for Women, the first feminist press in India, in 1984, and later, Zubaan Books. Born to in Ambala, India, to parents who were refugees from West Punjab, now in Pakistan, she grew up hearing stories of  the Partition, which tore apart the Indian subcontinent at the time of its freedom from British rule.

She began her research as a process of making sense of her family's personal tragedy. One thing led to another, and over time she realised that what 'history' tells us of the Partition are the bare political facts: tales of warring political parties and the British involvement in the whole gory process, the loss of property and lives, the statistics of the largest mass migration in recent history and violence in the riots between the Hindus, the Muslims and the Sikhs caught in the unfortunate event.

There was not much data on the renting apart of the closely enmeshed fabric of society and the actual sufferings of the flesh-and-blood people caught in the crossfire. The feminist in her also became aware of the huge conspiracy of silence (this term has also been used in reference to the victims of that other regrettable horror of the same time, the Holocaust) that enfolded the suffering of those considered to be of 'not much account' and therefore on the margins of citizenry- the women, the children and the harijans.

"But the 'history' of Partition seemed to lie only in the political developments that led up to it. These other aspects - what had happened to the millions of people who had to live through this time, what we may call the 'human dimensions' of this history -- somehow seemed to have a 'lesser' status in it. Perhaps this was because they had to do with difficult things: loss and sharing, friendship and enmity, grief and joy, with a painful regret and nostalgia for loss of home, country and friends, and with an equally strong determination to create them afresh. These were difficult things to capture 'factually.' Yet, could it be that they had no place in the history of Partition? Why, then, did they live on so vividly in individual and collective memory?"

Ms Butalia takes us through these events as pieced together from first-person accounts of survivors. The stories seem fantastic, the violence, the bloodiness ant the loss inexplicable, as does the almost mythological account of a society where the different religions had lived together in harmony, love and trust. Surely something had gone seriously wrong somewhere for the anger to have erupted as it had, killing and maiming millions, and creating a legacy of communal disharmony, and an almost pathological enmity between the two countries which were once part of one whole. A whole that had effectively driven their colonial rulers away.

The feminist in the writer notes some very interesting aspects of the problem. Even the interviews were necessarily taken in a family setting, where men did most of the talking, and women were often silenced. While men spoke of the politics, the killings, the violence, the women's experience of Partition was largely defined by the death of children, abductions, sexual violence, honour killings, forcible co-habitation/marriages with their abductors, their making peace with it, especially after children were born of these relationships.

During their interviews, Ms Butalia tried to listen to the unsaid, the silences, the sudden breaking-off of the narrative, the nuances. "In my work, the more I looked at women's voices and found them inserting themselves into the text, the more I realised that the silences did not exist only around women, but also around others, those whose silences have been even less important to society. The search for a history of women was what then led me to a search for a history of others. The voices of women, of children, of untouchables, to me provide not only a different perspective on the history of Partition, but they also establish this history as a process, a continuing history, which lives on in our lives today in a variety of ways." 

Then there was the ultimate insult to injury- the Abducted Persons (Recovery and Restoration) Act, 1949. A lot of this has been pieced together from accounts of social workers who were actively involved in the operation. Ostentiably to recover abducted women and children and return them to their families, the Act would not take into account the women's choice in the matter, something that all citizens were given upto the late fifties. After being abducted, these women often got assimilated into those families, bore children out of those relationships, but were torn from these children when they were 'recovered' to return to their families of origin. The original families would often refuse to accept these 'children of sin' which were left with their abductor-fathers. Quite often these children ended up on the streets with the other children who had been displaced or orphaned in the Partition. Both the women and children were refused the 'choice' that citizens of both countries had at the time.

First-hand accounts by some of these children, adults at the time of interviewing, underscore the same conspiracy of silence. Many of them glossed over their accounts, unable as adults to relate their memories of the horrors. Some of them, like a Sikh survivor who was just 9 at the time of Partition, had memories overshadowed by one particular incident- the death of their own familiy's hands of almost a hundred girls and women to 'save' their honour - an incident immortalised in the book and later movie Tamas.

In fact, most of these personal stories have been found to a large extent in a multitude of short stories and novellas written by many noted authors who have lived through the Partition- Amrita Pritam (Pinjar), Saadat Hasan Manto (Toba Tek Singh, Kingdom's End and other stories), Gulzar (Raavi Par and other stories), Khushwant Singh (Train to Pakistan), Bapsi Sidhwa (Ice-Candy Man), Bhisham Sahni (Tamas), and more. Many of these stories have been made into film, reaching a larger audience. Many bollywood movies, too, speak of the Partition or 'Batwara' as it is called in Hindi.

History, as told in history books, however, sticks mostly to the bare facts and statistics of the Partition. 'The other side of silence' tries to address this deficit in a more factual way, that can be corroborated, than the fictionalised accounts. Showing us that the fiction is not a very long way off reality.

More than twelve million people left their roots and migrated, about ten million of these crossing the western border. Around two million died in the violence. An estimated  75,000-1,00,000 women are thought to have been abducted and raped by men of religions different from their own (and indeed sometimes by men of their own religion). An estimated 50,000 children were born to the abducted women, an an unaccounted number of children were abandoned or simply lost. "People travelled in buses, in cars, by train, but mostly on foot in great columns called kafilas, which could stretch for dozens of miles. The longest of them, said to comprise nearly 400,000 people, refugees travelling east to India from western Punjab, took as many as eight days to pass any given spot on its route."

Ms Butalia has very honestly admitted that her work does not represent the whole of the history of Partition, but is a very personal history, her reading of the interviews she took. She also candidly admits that it is probably a very one-sided view of the whole thing, as by 1984, when she began her research, it was no longer possible to obtain access to those on the other side of the border, and cautions communal groups from using her research to reach their ends.

Here are some more excerpts from the book.

Am entering this book in the 2011 South Asian Reading Challenge at S.Krishna's books.

Mommy is guilty as charged

Ranjani had tagged me some time back. Sorry, Ranjani, for not doing the tag for such a long time. I have no excuse but my laziness.

Yesterday, however, I went out with a friend and her one-and-a-half year old son, who adores A and will keep asking for her by his pronounciation of her name every time he sees me, expecting her to be somewhere around me all the time.

We did many things (like browsing in a bookshop and picking up some books) that I know A would have loved to do with us. I kept thinking of her all the time, and was wishing it was a holiday, so that she could have accompanied us. Maybe I will take her out on the next school holiday.

Mommy feeling guilty? You bet!

According to the tag, I have to

1. Write about 2 instances where you have put yourself before your child/ children... been a wee bit selfish.
2. How did you feel? Did you feel a pang of guilt or were you comfortable?
3. Tag 2 more moms

I have always had A along with me since she was born. Since we do not stay with extended family, it was only us all the time. I never had anyone to help with her. I have,  of course, my house-help who comes in everyday for housework, but taking care of A and cooking is something I never liked to nor wanted to delegate.

The first time I spent some time alone without A around was when she joined school. Even there, I would say it was I who had a bad case of separation anxiety - A was ready for mixing socially, and so settled down there quite soon.

Over the years, I have grown to like the 'me time' I get when I am by myself. I find that it is essential for me to have this time for myself, to do as I please, without worrying about the kid's or the husband's schedules. Reading, morning walks, blogging, working on something interesting, browsing in bookshops, going shopping or catching a movie/theatre programme with friends or by myself, eating out sometimes. When A was younger, I also caught up on the listening to music other than nursery rhymes and other children's songs when she was elsewhere. All the things a stay-at-home-mom may do after all her chores are done!

Of course, I love the times we can spend together on days when she has a holiday. Some of the best times we have spent together are sitting together, each with her book in her hands. Yes, I have a little reader at home, and I'm glad it's so.

So I would have to really think for doing this tag. Let me see-

1. Harry Potter. A is as much into the series as I am. Only difference being, that I discovered the series in 2004, when she was just three, and she began reading them in 2009, two years after book 7 was published. True to my belief that she should read the books before she watches the movies, she has watched them all only on TV. Except for Deathly Hallows 1 & 2. She began with book 7 much after DH 1 had gone from theatres, and we are still waiting for the movie to come on TV, or for us to pick up the DVD, which we will probably do only after all the movies come on DVD, and we can buy the boxed set. Of course we finished reading book 7 at super speed in time for her to watch the last movie on the big screen. Went to watch it with Choxbox, her FB and another friend from school and her mother, all big on Harry Potter.

So I would go to watch all the earlier HP movies on big screen without her, even when I knew that she would have loved to watch them with me on big screen. That would be Order of the Phoenix, Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows 1. If I count the fact that most of her friends went to these movies without reading the books, that would include Goblet of Fire, too.

2. A has never been one of those kids who pester their parents to buy something, anything, everytime they make a visit to a shop. Except when we are in a bookshop. Woe betide me if I take her to a bookshop and do not buy something that she will enjoy. So I do not plan a bookshop visit with her if I have not budgeted for at least one book for her to choose and buy. There are also all those books that are interesting enough to pick up, small enough to be read quickly, but too expensive to pick up, and sometimes for a younger age group. Think of all those fabulous picture books we have not yet got our hands on! So we take advantage of bookshops' policies which allow the customers to make themselves comfortable and read away if they may.

Considering her love of books, and of browsing in bookshops, there have been many occasions when I have gone for it alone- when I have to go to a book sale which it might not be possible to go for on the week-end, which might be in a far-off location, or if I just up and go plonk myself in my favourite book shop on a day when I need some retail therapy. Do I feel guilty? Yes, I do, indeed. As Choxbox will be able to testify, I often pick up a whole lot of books, then realising that they would be way beyond my budget, put away most of those that are for myself, and end up buying those that I know A will enjoy!

To A's credit, she has never consciously made me feel guilty about these things, taking it as gospel that the book has to be read first, and she is overjoyed when I get her something on my book-shopping trips. Yes, she makes me feel guilty about that, too. Contrarily, I would not have felt as bad if she had gotten upset about it.

That was my rather wordy take on the tag. I would like to tag Choxbox and Sangi. Both are ladies I admire immensely for their out-of-the-box thinking and from whom I learn so much. There are some more out there whom I would have loved to tag, but the rules say I have to tag two. So anyone else who wants to take it up is welcome to do so. Let us hear your mommy-guilt secrets, ladies!

The Story of Hana, and how she did not remain just a Holocaust statistic

This is one of those rare books about the Holocaust that is written with and ease which will lie gently on younger children wanting to learn about it, as it stresses the positive throughout the otherwise stark and sad tale. I would recommend this to be one of the first books that may be used to introduce the Holocaust to young readers. I picked this book up on my last visit to Mumbai. The publishers, Jyotsna Prakashan, are one of the leading publishers of Marathi books for children, and this one is available in both Marathi and English versions. 

Pic courtesy infibeam

HANA'S SUITCASE
Written by Karen Levine
Published by Jyotsna Prakashan, by permission of Second Story Press
Ages 10 +

An estimated 11 million people were killed in the Holocaust, of which about 6 million were Jews. Bare statistics. Since then, many stories of those killed and of the survivors have come to light, bringing home the horror of it all, how many ordinary and extraordinary lives have been lost.

Hana Brady would have been just such one faceless statistic.

Our book begins in Tokyo, Japan, in the winter of 2000, when an ordinary looking tattered suitcase from Auschwitz arrives there. On it are these words painted in white- HANA BRADY, 16 May 1931, WAISENKIND (orphan in German). It was sent here from Auschwitz on request by the Tokyo Holocaust Education Resource Centre.

Pic courtesy:
Tokyo Holocaust Education
Resource Centre

Who was Hana Brady? What was her story? Fumiko Ishioka, the director of the museum, sets out to find out. This is the story of her journey to find out all about the girl, which takes her all the way from Auschwitz to Nove Mesto, in the former Czechoslovakia, where Hana's story begins.

A happy family of four- the parents and brother-sister, George and Hana. Their life changes in 1939 when the Nazis take over Czechoslovakia. Increasing sanctions make ordinary life difficult and then impossible by degrees, then first her mother and then father is deported.

Then one day, the two children are also deported to Theresienstadt, now Terezin, and they are permitted to take just one suitcase each with their personal belongings. There, they are separated, and later, Hana is transported to Auschwitz on 23rd October, 1944, where she is sent along with the rest of the girls straight from the train to the gas chamber. They had been commanded to leave their suitcases on the railway platform.

Pic courtesy hanassuitcase.ca
Fumiko and George with the suitcase

Fumiko Ishioka doggedly and painstakingly followed the leads from the entry of George and Hana Brady's name in the Nazi's registers to trace her journey, and found out about her death, but also the fact that George was known to have survived. By tracing other survivors who were with him in the concentation camp, she finally traced a 75 year old George Brady now residing in Canada, and got in touch with him.

Between them, they brought Hana's story to us, all his memories and the family photographs that he had saved, and which he now so generously shared. There were also many things that the siblings had put in a box and buried in their backyard all those years ago, in a game of 'burying treasure', that were found by another family now living there. Ensuring that she does not remain a faceless statistic. A lovely, lively human being, who was lost to the senseless genocide.

Pic courtesy radio.cz
Hana and George with their
mother Marketa 

The book by Karen Levine is simply written, shuttling between Hana's story in the 1930s, and the story of Fumiko's effort to bring it to us. There are plenty of real photographs of the Brady family, beginning with the toddler Hana to the 12 yr old Hana on the cover page, copies of the drawings Hana made in the Theresienstadt deportation centre, as also photostat copies of the Nazi records which Fumiko followed on her search.

The telling is gentle, though, so that even a child as young as 10 can read it. As A told me when we discussed the book after reading it, "I felt very sad, but it was not frightening."

Crossposted at Saffrontree and Bookreviews.

Am entering this review in Reading the World Challenge 2011 over at Papertigers for A under the Czech Republic.

Reading to A- and a 100 stars in my sky

THIS IS MY 100th POST.

I thank you, all my friends, for reading what I needed to say, and encouraging me along the way. I have learned a lot along the way, and have got to know some wonderful people.

And what better way to mark it than to speak of some books A and I have loved reading together?

But first, an update: We have already received all five of the picture postcards that we were expecting as part of the 2011 international postcard swap for families hosted by Zoe over at Playingbythebook, a wonderful person who blogs about books for children, and the fun her girls have working with those books.

And now for the rest of our post, on reading aloud to A, and- you guessed it- Harry Potter.

*Spoiler Alert * Do not read the rest of the post if you want to find out for yourself what happens in the seven books!

Recently Prabha, a co-contributor at Saffrontree wrote to me about her daughter K, all of 9, beginning to read the books, and how she was a bit apprehensive about it. Understandably so, as the books have much that could be 'iffy', depending on the POV. They are unslottable to a large extent, as the age spectrum of those enjoying them seems to stretch from kids as young as 6yrs (it makes me wonder how many GET them? Isn't it a disservice to them if we let them read this stuff at such a young age, robbing them of the pleasure of discovering them when they are actually old enough to grasp the full import of what they are reading?) to adults.

Prabha says, "I thought it offered a lot of meat to go over. The sheer number of characters, the plot, the writing and to carry the reader through seven books- kudos to JKR!...Do let me know your thoughts, S, about your experiences...K will continue reading them this year...I didn't mind letting her watch the movies before finishing up the books...the movies have given a lot away, but I am glad she now has a frame of reference and can absorb things better and all those that the movie hasn't covered, and enjoy it for the pure writing aspect alone!" 

Some time back, Starry had made this comment on one of my Potter posts:  "Nervous about introducing HP to Div...we'll start from Jan, I think we will go slow anyway with books 1 and 2, which are relatively lighter. Like the question A asked, I guess there will be many q's...I love the intricate plot and logic of every single thing in these books."  Div, too, is 9.

So here's what I feel.

I have always read aloud to A, ever since she could sit up on my lap. She loved it. So even after she could read on her own, we continued with our habit, except that I would choose books that were meatier, or were a little bit above her age group, either in terms of the language, or the content.

Language was handled easily enough, and there would often be a word, or a phrase/idiom that would baffle her. I explained these to her in terms she understands, and she often used them subsequently, sometimes with pretty hilarious results, but usually correctly.

Sometimes, the language of a book, usually an old classic, would be simple enough, but the narrative would be a bit tedious. At such times it helped that I was reading aloud, so that I could tide her over the boring bits in anticipation of what I knew would come. Sometimes, the old English would be difficult to understand, with quaint words not much used these days. That, too, could be rephrased while explaining it to her.

Content was a bit difficult. We have often embarked on a book, sometimes to abandon it after a chapter or so, as she could not really relate to it. Sometimes it was the genre- I found that currently she does not enjoy anything to do with horror; it gives her nightmares. It was not necessary that there be anything graphic- she didn't enjoy Morpurgo's 'The Giant's necklace'. But she enjoys the cousins of horror- she likes suspense, action and black humour, for example- a case in point are the books by Roald Dahl, a master of black humour.

Sometimes it was just that the content was too much for her age- she could not visualise what was happening, or relate to it. I would then just shelve the book, to return to it at a later date when I thought she might appreciate it better. We had to do that with 'Anne of Green Gables', which we had attempted at 8 yrs- I think the time may be right for it sometime now.

So at the age of 8, when she showed an interest in the Potter books, seeing as she would see me reading them, I wondered if they could be the next ones to be read aloud. We were reading aloud the two Alice books by Lewis Carroll at the time.

She loved them. She had already read Enid Blyton's Naughtiest Girls series, Tom Brown's Schooldays and What Katy did at School, so she had a fair idea of a boarding school system. This was like a natural continuation of that, with magic, just darker.

Books 1, 2, 3 were fine. She was a bit distressed by the targeting of Harry, the ostracizing that he has to suffer from his classmates, the mutterings, etc., in book 2. It did give us an opportunity to discuss how her peers perceive her as 'different' on account of her disinterest in bollywood, fashion, etc.

She would introspect a lot on what we read, and would throw up many interesting questions, which showed her insight into many complex aspects of the books. Some would not have occured to me, too, till then, and I needed to do a bit of thinking and analysing of my own to answer her. She does this with everything we read aloud, and sometimes it is troublesome- for eg., if the questions are asked at 7am, when we have a school bus to catch at 7.25, and I have lunches and breakfasts to prepare, the mind working on the next thing to be done on the schedule!:)

We finished book 3 around the time she was 8.5, and we discussed the options. I told her book 4 was a bit distressing, and that each subsequent book increases in its distress quotient, so we needed to take it a bit slow. She is to tell me if I needed to pause for a while or stop. She was fine till the chapter where Voldemort is resurrected, and then she didn't want me to read near her bedtime. So we finished book 4- and moved on to book 5.

In the meantime, we were also watching the movies as we progressed. I can understand about having a frame of reference while reading the book if the movie has already been watched. Can be helpful in placing the details in context. We have done that for so many books- notably those based on the classics- we saw Alice in Wonderland, Winnie the Pooh, Heidi, The Little Princess, Peter Pan, Pinocchio, and many more on screen before we read the books- and have enjoyed them thoroughly.

But HP, I think is about more than just the story, the incredibly wonderful characterisation, the rich imagination and impeccable English. Not all of it has come across in the movies.

It is also a story with a philosophy, with a lot of logic, the interlinking of plots, the way Rowling never introduces anything which may not be significant at some other stage, the way even her comic relief has a place in the larger picture. That mountains can be moved by faith, hope, love, compassion, courage, sacrifice, loyalty, team work and hard work. That even those considered too far gone can get back on the right track if only they wanted to. That there is always a choice.

Difficult for grown-ups, too, to grasp, to realise, to internalise. I am trying, too, and believe me, it is not easy.

I wanted A to absorb all that- which, I feel she is, and sometimes more, going by the questions she comes up with. I am sure these lessons will have to be reinforced many times over before she can internalise them, but they have been introduced.

She has all that in her mind while watching the movie- as also this interesting concept of alternative ways in which the story can go- since Warner Brothers have made their own changes to the story when adapting it to the screen. Changes I don't really like, being a purist of sorts as far as this series is concerned, since Rowling has got a tight plot, with all ends tied.

Anyway- back to the books. We went through book 5 with a lot of interest, as there are so many details here, and sometimes it feels as though Rowling is rambling, but isn't. As we reached the middle of the book, I prepared A for the unexpected ending. We spoke about how now that Voldemort is back, there are bound to be distressing things happening, sometimes quite unexpectedly- but how that has to be accepted, and even taken as a mark of the author's wonderful storytelling skills, the way she keeps one on the edge, wanting to know- what next? And packing a punch just when least expected. Inspite of this she was distressed on the death of Sirius, more for Harry than anyhing else, as she saw him as orphaned once more.

We finished book 5 sometime in March this year. She was quite upset, so I told her we'll put the rest on hold for a while. But kids are very resilient, and do a lot of growing up in a very short time. It is amazing. After we were back from Mumbai, she told me she wanted to finish the last two books before the last movie is released, as she wanted to watch it on the big screen. It helped, that two of her closest friends- Choxbox' FB and another girl at school had also finished reading all the books and were keen for A to read them so that they could discuss them. I would give full credit to both girls for restraining themselves from putting across any spoilers- just egging her on.

So I told her to expect more deaths, more distressing ones. We have just finished book 6 yesterday, and she seems to be handling it quite well. Book 7 is going to be bit different. It has a lot of philosophy packed into it, so I'll have to see how much of A really 'gets.' I think she is mature enough to handle just the story, and it wouldn't hurt to read it so that she can really enjoy the movie on the big screen.

A needed a bit of hand-holding through many parts of the series, but it might not have been this easy on her if she had had to read it by herself. While reading to her, I always omit reading out some distressing graphic bits- like yesterday when I skipped over the vivid description of the inferi creeping nearer to attack Harry and Dumbledore in the cave- stuff sure to have triggered nightmares. It will keep for when she reads them on her own- she is already through books 1-3 on her own.

Even if she had read the books on her own, I am sure she would have come to me with questions, but I would not have been able to anticipate her distress and prepare her for it. Although I am sure that the whole series has made her look at books and storytelling in a different way, and she has matured considerably in her reading- can go on to stronger stuff- reading to her or even on her own. Am happy about it.

Next on the cards- The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings books.  She can read Percy Jackson, Diane Wynne Jones, Cornelia Funke etc. on her own.

Will be getting back to the topic after we are done with the reading aloud of book 7. Till then!

Our Great Mumbai Holiday plus

So the kid is off to school, and as Starry so succintly puts it: the chains are off! First time in 2 months that I have managed to sit down in front of my laptop without someone wanting my attention.

So what did we do in the holidays? Quite a list.

Attended a super Carpentry workshop at Hippocampus, our library, run by a dear friend. We have a working model of a sun-dial, and a toy aeroplane to show for it. Thoroughly enjoyed by A.

Went to Mumbai after a very long 2 years, visiting parents and in-laws.

Sisters-in-law (2 of them) and I carted the kids (4 boys aged 12-17 years and A) over to the over 200 year old Shree Siddhivinayak temple  in Prabhadevi, which is believed to grant wishes to devotees. It is a favoured place to visit for those who revere Ganesha/ Ganapati- the elephant headed god of learning, who is also believed to remove obstacles from one's life, and is invoked as 'Shree' before undertaking anything of importance.

Also visited the Mahalakshmi temple in Worli, which is built right next to the sea, with the waves breaking on its walls at high tide. The sea fascinated A more than anything else, as the last time we saw the sea was the North sea off Scotland when she was just 3, and she doesn't have any memory of it.

Went shopping with the entire gang (ladies and kids only) to Crawford Market built by the British in 1869 after travelling by the mumbai local trains. A was horrified by the crowd, the rush, and the chaos of both, but enjoyed the outing with her cousins.

Also checked out the extremely high end and absolutely unaffordable Palladium mall and the adjacent High Street Phoenix mall at the place where the famed Phoenix mills- cotton mills- were situated. The only place there that we could even think of buying something was the absolutely enormous Landmark, which had such a wide range of books that I could not do justice in terms of browsing. Picked up a few titles there- but of course. It was literally like getting into Alladin's cave for both A and I, and I plan to make a visit to just that one store on a later visit to Mumbai.

Made a family trip to the absolutely wonderful Tikuji-ni-wadi with brother and his family- A now had two cousins, my nephew aged 11 and niece aged 5 with her. It is very near the city, a few kilometers from my parents' house, but it is like stepping into another time zone. Of course there are the rides and the water parks that were fun for the kids, but the part I enjoyed most were that there was a sprawling chickoo orchard, with village style cots scattered around on which we could relax after a morning of activity and just chill. Which the sister-in-law and I did, as the brother took the kids off for rides. The food is very ordinary, though, just routine noodles-pizza-sandwich-chelpuri-other chaats stuff, not very inspiring. I was hoping for a homestyle gujju spread, and was much disappointed.

Immersed myself in many things marathi-

Typical food cooked by my mother- pithla bhakri, ambadichi bhaji, puraN poLi, kadhigoLe, waTli daL, waraNphaL, shrikand (home made) puri, and most of all, alphonso mango in many avataars. I even picked up aambawadi (a burfi like preparation from mango pulp), aambapoLi (alphonso pulp put out on plates and sundried), phaNaspoLi (made from jackfruit pulp), aambyacha satha (just a lump of dehydrated alphonso pulp).

I also picked up the all important Goda Masaala which is an important and indispensible ingredient of maharashtrian cuisine, and which is unfortunately not available anywhere. At least I have never found it. It is a difficult masaala to make at home, as it has many ingredients and is quite labour intensive. Something I have been too lazy to make at home, as my mother and grandmother always did.

pic courtesy lokvani.com

Took A to many Marathi theatre performances for children. The most notable of which was Durga Zali Gauri, a dance drama, which moves forward only in song and dance. A loved it, and we heard nothing but those songs for a few days. It is comparable to Agatha Christie's play "Mousetrap", in that it has been running to a full house for the last 29 years, and its popularity shows no sign of abating. Unfortunately, it has still not been released on DVD, but I picked up an audio CD at the time of the performance. Something I would recommend to any theatre lover visiting Mumbai during the summer vacations. Performances are only then, as the children acting in it are free at the time. I spoke to Arun Kakade, the person behind it all, about having shows in Bangalore. He was interested, and told me that he had spoken to some people here about it, but that the logistics of transporting a 50+ troupe of dancers, housing them, almost all children, was daunting. Our loss!

I went for a few Marathi theatre performances too- two of which were written by the noted playwright, Sai Paranjpye, better known outside of Maharashtra for her sensitively made movies like Katha, Chashhme Baddoor and Sparsh. Also saw a few Marathi movies- some on DVD and one in theatres- the newly released Bal Gandharva which is a biographical film based on the life of one of Marathi's greatest and pioneering singers, and actor Narayan Shripad Rajhans, better known by his alter-ego : Bal Gandharva.

On DVD, saw quite a few. Am convinced that regional movies have a lot more to offer on realistic and well made movies- of an extremely high calibre as compared to the staple bollywood fare. I can probably count those bollywood films that impressed me in the last five years on the fingers of my hand. I do not really know much about regional films in other Indian languages, but going by those that are aired on LokSabha channel, there are quite a few world-class movies being made. When will bollywood wake up and smell the celluloid?

Anyway, the ones I saw this time-

Rita, based on the book of the same name by renowned marathi writer Shanta Gokhale- it is the story of Rita Welingkar, the eldest of three daughters, who starts working at an early age when her no-good father loses his job, and pretty much becomes the parent for her sisters, inspite of having both her parents alive. On the way she gets into a relationship with her much older and much-married-with-kids boss. The movie captures very well Rita's struggle to make things more meaningful in her life- wonderfully played by Pallavi Joshi.

Mee Sindhutai Sapkal (I, Sindhutai Sakpal) based on her autobiography named Mee Vanvasi (I, the exiled), is the story of a poor woman born in rural Maharashtra- pulled out of school and married off at age 12 to a man more than twice her age, and her struggle for a life of dignity. She is thrown out by her husband, pregnant, near term, with her third child, on a false charge of infidelity. This is the story of how she stands up in dignity, not just for herself, but for the rights of many more of the downtrodden, establishing 5 orphanages in the process, and travelling to the US on invitation to raise funds. Sindhutai, or Mai as she is known, is a living legend, doing her work even today. Wonderful performances by the actors, the movie may be seen just for the underplayed performance of Tejaswini Pandit, who plays the protagonist in her youth, her real life mother, Jyoti Chandorkar playing the elderly Mai.

Went to a few book exihibitions exclusively for Marathi books. Found out that many of our favourite Tulika books are been published by Jyotsna Prakashan, a well known publishing house of Marathi children's books, at a fraction of the price, with full credits to Tulika's copyright.. Was thrilled on finding them. Picked up a lot of Marathi books for A and for myself. Now that she knows the Devanagari script, common to both Marathi and Hindi, A can read simple books on her own. Am really thrilled about it.

It goes without saying that both A and I read a lot of books including Harry Potter 6, which we will be finishing in a day or two. To be followed by book 7, so that we will be all set for the last movie due in mid-July.

Ate at a lot of interesting restaurants many times with family and friends, too many too enumerate. The high point was a small place where we ate home-style Malwani food. Yum!

Met a lot of my old friends after a loooooonnnngggg time.

Also met a new friend, Ugich Konitari, a wonderful blogger whose posts I love for the clear headed analysis of so many different things, done with a wry sense of humour. She has written a whole post here about our meeting. We met midway between our houses, and had lunch together at a mall where we even had icy cold gola for dessert. She was exactly as I had visualised her, and much more. It was lovely meeting you, Ugich.

Chilled out totally over our trip, and was back home with a few weeks to spare before school re-opened. Soon after we were back, A had her birthday party.

And we made mango pickle at home- A helped in lot in the process.

We also had a long awaited meet of Saffrontree members from Bangalore at Artnavy's lovely home.

Then there were the usual round of dentist, doctor, etc., shopping for school, and here we are. School has started!

It is never too late for mommy to learn

Sangi has tagged me with this very interesting tag. I need to pick out 5 things that being a mother has taught me. Hmmm...let's see.

1. Are you there, God?
I grew up in a household which put a lot of premium by God, prayers, going to temples, rituals, etc., but I was never convinced of the existence of the said almighty. If anything, I actively rebelled against all of what seemed to me to be a lot of foaming at the mouth over something that was not proven to be existing anyway.

Oh, I knew all the scriptures I was expected to know as a child- the mythology, the epics, the prayers, what could/could not be done- the works. I have to thank my grandmother for much of that.  Not complaining! It has definitely enriched me.

I was, however, entirely confused by a ritualistic approach to God- an insistance on the paraphernelia of religion- that one must have red flowers/ white flowers/ leaves of a particular plant/ coconuts, etc. for a God that seemed to me too petty to have wanted all that JUST SO. My belief thus bordered on atheism, but, as I feel sometimes, I threw the baby out with the bathwater. Pun not intended.

Having A was a miracle of sorts. I had her quite late, also having complications during pregnancy, a difficult labour and finally, an emergency C-section. The anxiety and heartache I went through during all this, and finally having her, healthy and whole, in my arms made feel that yes, there must be a God.

So did I finally get religion? Not quite. I cannot still abide by rituals. The occasional pooja I do, on festive days, is more to introduce this part of her culture to A, rather than for its own sake. I do not pray everyday, for then, I feel, it will become a meaningless ritual; or go that extra mile to get those red flowers/ white flowers, etc. I do pray the day I feel like praying, for, on that day, I know that my prayer is true and heart-felt, and it will certainly reach God. And A knows all the prayers, songs and stories that are part of her inheritance, her birthright as my grandmother's great-grand-daughter.

At times, I even feel close enough to God to quarrel or fight, if need be. When I feel the presense of the divine, my eyes close of their own accord and I bow my head. Spiritual yearnings? Maybe.

2. A smile in my heart.
"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." Osho Rajneesh.

When I see the affection A has for younger children, the raptures she goes into over any baby, see the affinity younger children have for her, I think back to myself as a child- heck, myself as a grown-up and wonder over how different she is from me in this aspect. As an adult, I loved babies, still do, and am a natural in handling the extremely fragile lovelies. But I normally cannot have easy coversations with older kids, unless they share my interest in books. I was never what you would consider 'mother material'. I never fantasised over having babies as she does, never wanted to get the little kids in the neighbourhood together to raise rabble. I was fine with my book in my corner, inhabiting my imaginary world, thank you very much!

When I saw the two purple stripes, and later A's heart going 'twinkle, twinkle' at an impossible rate on the screen at an ultrasound, I realised how much I wanted my baby. Connecting with her when in utero was an out-of-this-world experience, and I was absolutely smitten by her once I had her in my arms.

Please bear with me over the next paragraph.

The day she was born was an extremely hot day even by Mumbai standards. Since all AC rooms were occupied at the time, I was moved to a non-AC room temporarily, just for one day's time. A could not yet suckle, and as a result she got dehydrated. She was taken away by the nursing staff on duty for some time (the nursing home believed in rooming in; babies were NOT taken away to the nurseries like in most hospitals those days. AND the obstetrician was a dear friend, who had hand-held me through my extremely difficult pregnancy, with me going ballistic over things that could go wrong- a distinct disadvantage of being in the know in medicine) on the doctor's orders, so that she could be given some glucose water orally to tide over till she could suckle. The panic I went into over that was unimaginable. This was my baby. Where were they taking her? Why? So what if these were doctor's orders? Couldn't they do whatever they needed to do right there, in front of me? Blah, blah, blah, blah...you fill it in.

Love is here to stay. Always, in my heart. No matter what, no matter when, no matter how.

3. They are not always right, nor always wrong.
As a child, I often thought my parents were always right in everything, until came a time when I thought just the reverse. Now they could do nothing right. And one's peers also thought the same of their parents at the same time. So I often ended up blaming my parents for things that I did not do right.

While some of it may be true, (see, I have a long way to go yet!) I realise now as hands-on mom that my parents always did that which they thought was right at the time, and what was humanly possible for them. The realisation has gone a long way in making my peace with them over issues we didn't see eye-to-eye.

Something I hope my daughter also realises over a period of time- that her mother is just human, and that I do the best I can do, the best I believe I should do. I hope to God that it is the right thing.

4. Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down!
Coming from a background where my mother was the rulebook, and considering that I rebelled against it wholeheartedly, sometimes even to my detriment, I always thought that with my child I would be different. I would not do this, or that, that I would always talk to my child, explain things, do things right. I am not saying that I had bad parents, just that they were very conservative, old-fashioned, and pretty much followed the norms of the times they lived in.

I was living in a fool's paradise. No, not till she came along, but till she learnt to stand up to me and say NO! WON'T! pretty early in her toddlerhood. A true-blue Taurean, she knew very well how to dig her heels in and...err...so did I.

I had to go great lengths to unlearn all that I had absorbed. As always, I took the help of books. It was a lot of trial, and much more of error. Still is sometimes. I learnt that logic works more wonders with A than putting my foot down. I need to back off and calm down, be less authoritarian. I who needs to get my act together if I am to make any headway with teaching this lovely but stubborn as a mule child of mine the right things. Blogs by friends who are wonderful parents, like Starry,  Choxbox  and  Sangi help. Their views and extremely clear headed analysis of so many little things often show me the light.

5. It is never too late to get an education.
Having a daughter taught me so many things.
*That one cannot learn everything from books.
*That I cannot bear it when she is in pain, but have to be strong enough for both of us to make it bearable.
*Everything that is humanly possible is certainly achievable, especially if your child needs it of you.
*The human body is amazing- and this doesn't include just what they teach you at medical school. One can survive on the barest minimum of sleep, oxytocin and lots of TLC.
*That much more can be achieved by being patient and explaining things instead of laying down the law.
*That sometimes one is only human and wishes one does not have to explain things so much but can lay down the law!:)
*That one can have conversations with an extra-chattery child where one can switch off and yet make satisfactory rejoinders.
*That even though one loves the child so much, one can wish that someone takes her away for the day, on the stipulation that she is returned in the evening safe and sound. Sending her off to school is the best option.
*That the best part of the day is when A comes home with a smile and a hug for mommy, followed closely by the time in the morning when everybody, including the husband, are out and one can finally rest one's errr...backside with a hot, steaming cup of tea.
*That children can ask the darnedest questions. And one never has an answer for them when they are asked in company.
*That one has absymal / long forgotten / outdated knowledge about the things children learn as early as in middle grade. And that one has to read up a lot to be able to keep up.
*That it is a lot of fun to do things together, and it does not always have to cost a bomb.
*That the best times we have spent together are when we have sat together on the bean-bags near the wide open windows, reading aloud to her in the light streaming in from a book I have loved and wanted to share with her.
*That one has to exercise tough love at times and settle for being the bad cop- mommies often are, as they are the ones usually around. That certainly goes for SAHM mothers like me, as also for working moms, though that bit is slowly changing.
*That there is no single rule about how things should be done, although a large portion of love, faith, hope, belief in oneself and patience is required on our plate.

I have to tag five others as part of the rules. I would like to tag Starry, Utbtkids, Ranjani, Crazy mum and Arundhati.  Let us know what you think, ladies.