A day to celebrate books and reading

World Book Day is celebrated in the UK and Ireland on the first Thurday in March, which would make it today, 7th March 2013. Internationally, it is celebrated on 23rd April as World Book and Copyright Day, declared by the UNESCO to promote reading, publishing and copyright.

I was introduced to the wonderful idea of having a day set aside for books when we were in the UK all of 9 years ago. (That long ago, hmm? Feels like yesterday sometimes, when I remember all the lovely times A and I had there together.)

A went to a montesssori there, and one day, we received an envelope addressed to us in her school bag. It contained a book token for one pound, and a list of age appropriate books that we could choose from to buy through the school. We could choose one book from the list to buy with our book token. Not only that, we could choose more books from the list at a discount, as the school had a tie-up with the local indie bookstore. We would then receive our treasure package on World Book Day.

I was charmed by the whole thing. Every school child in the country would be extended this privilege. That, in the UK, would mean almost every child above school going age, unless one is living under a rock. Schooling for children there is subsidized after 3 years of age; even free in certain schools. World Book Day, then, served as a wonderful means to introduced a child to the pleasures of actually owning a book. This is different in many ways from actually being introduced to books - possible for any child as County Council run libraries are free and usually well stocked. And there were libraries everywhere. At least until a few years back when many faced closure due to lack of state funding. Lack of funding for these libraries due to budget cuts coupled with negative attitudes like Terry Deary's would further deplete this wonderful resource if things do not change. Sad.

Which brings me to India. Our country. We are far far away from a utopia where we have such an extensive network of free libraries, let alone book tokens for an affordable amount. There are some people doing some good in this field, though. Pratham Books, with their Read India Movement, aim to put a book in every child's hand. This is what they say in their mission statement:

"At Pratham Books, we believe that every child has the right to enjoy good books.  And we believe they should have stories set in surroundings familiar to them and in a language close to their culture. We believe that to make books accessible to every child, the price points have to be very low. Pratham Books is a brand of story books as Indian as the children who read them. As a not-for-profit publisher, our dream is to see a country where every child wants to read, is able to read, and has something good to read.
With a range of stories created to excite children with different likes and tastes, the books are illustrated by some of the most enthusiastic and talented illustrators. Our aim is to have something good for every child, in every part of the country, and in the process spread the joy of reading far and wide."

This vision has had them creating books like these, wonderful books for throwaway prices. For example, this exquisite book, my favourite from the Pratham stable, has loads of stuff to see, read about, talk about, and so many possibilities for activities. At Rs 35 for an English edition and Rs 25 for an Indian language one, it is a steal. Pratham books also are available in most Indian languages, and there are books that feature the everyday life of ordinary people. They are also more rooted in reality than those of other publishers whose book are for a similar demographic. As a result, any and every child can identify with these stories, and can be encouraged to pick up these books. The low cost, local language, and quality reading values make these books ideal for 'putting a book in each child's hands'.

Let me tell you of an experience - I volunteer at a school for special children. Among other things, I also read stories aloud. (On an aside, yesterday, 6th March 2013, was World Read Aloud Day. Another way to spread the joy of books to those who can read, as well as those who cannot.) Many of these children have difficulty in imagining much beyond reality, and fantasy, mythology, fairy tales, etc., are a big no-no. I often find myself pulling out a Pratham books publication to read to them, which they enjoy thoroughly as they can easily visualize things that commonly happen at home, in schools, or in any other 'real' setting. I find myself struggling to hold their attention with the books of many other publishers, unless that book matches these criteria. This makes these books so much more inclusive.

There are many other players who are doing good work in this kind of an initiative. It would make for a separate post altogether, which is a positive thing - the fact that these activities can provide more fodder means that there are good people out there. I would like to dwell on a recent such initiative before I sign off.

Bookalore, in Bangalore, is founded by a group of writers working with children's books. They describe themselves as Bangalore's Big Little Book Club.

"Bookalore is an independent group of children's writers, illustrators, editors, librarians, teachers and filmmakers. Its monthly fun-based events for children and young adults will be held across Bangalore at libraries, schools, bookshops, art galleries, museums, theatres and other public spaces."

They share wonderful book and reading related links on their Facebook page, and these links would make me a fan even if I wasn't in Bangalore. Their sessions are free and open to anyone, though they do require you to register the child's name with a parent's email for a session.

As the area of publishing for children in India opens up more, grows, and matures, hopefully, so will the outreach of books and reading to all our children. For every child needs to have their own books to love. Or at least a library at which books can be accessed.  

Focus on the ability- not disability: something I need to tell myself, too, every day

On 3rd December 2012, I attended the India Inclusion Summit. Here's an account written by me on Women's Web. Re-posting it here.

“Removing barriers to create an inclusive and accessible society for all”: United Nations.

It has been a few months now since I began volunteering at the Spastics Society of Karnataka school. My children there bring me a lot of joy, and I feel privileged to be a part of their lives. So I jumped at the chance to attend the 1st India Inclusion Summit on the 3rd of December, 2012.

Held at Vivanta by Taj on World Disability Day, it was a day-long event launched by SAP Labs India. There were an impressive lot of speakers, all of who were closely allied with and committed to the vision of an inclusive society in which the differently-abled would have their rightful place as productive members of society. Unfortunately, Arun Shourie, whose book Does He Know A Mother's Heart speaks of coping with his son’s disability couldn't make it to the summit- his son was ill and in hospital.

The other speakers more than made up for Mr Shourie’s absence. These were people who have seen disability from up close - in their family; or work closely with the differently-abled. The most inspirational speaker was Siddharth Jayakumar, who has battled cerebral palsy and come out on top. He began schooling only at the age of 9 as he was considered mentally retarded. Once he began school, though, there was no stopping him.

There were some interesting points that were highlighted by the speakers.

Around 70 million people in India are disabled or differently abled- these include the whole range from mild to moderate to severe to profound disability. Demographics are changing due to better health care and better awareness. Less than 1 lakh of these are employed.

Families and society often overestimate or underestimate abilities. There is a need for a more realistic appraisal. It is also necessary for self-help groups and respite for care-givers, who are those most affected emotionally. Most of the caregivers, close to 95%, are the affected person’s mother. This makes inclusion of care for the care-givers even more important. In our society, the mother is mostly blamed for the child’s condition, and it is considered her duty to give care, and respite for her is not considered a necessity.

Focus on the ability, not the disability. The problem is in how we as a society think about disability. A lack of awareness about the normalcy of a differently-abled person leads to discrimination and marginalisation. At the same time, lack of information about their own disability leads to the differently-abled not being aware of what they can do.

Awareness on disability can be spread by people in a position of maximum influence. These could be the health care professionals, media and religious heads. Of these, the potential of the media is immense- more people have become aware of disabilities after they have been portrayed in movies like Taare Zameen Par, however glamourized the version may be. I personally know of at least a handful of families who have gone from awareness of the special needs to acceptance of their child’s behavioural problems after this movie has been made. It is the right way to remedial action. Other mediums like music, sports, books, spirituality, etc. are just as effective platforms that can be used to this end, as also as therapy tools.

Do check out this impassioned blog-post about the summit by Sangitha at  Life and Times in Bangalore.

Of school, friends, and Woman-Fridays

It is now almost the end of our second week of back-to-school. We are thrilled to be one grade up, and the children of the earlier grade seem like little kids. A la first chapters from any of Enid Blyton's school stories- "she couldn't believe how little the first formers seemed to her now!"

A fresh new year means a new set of the uniform, new books, new classrooms, new class-teachers, new classmates, a new sitting arrangement, new rules, new extra-curriculars,...the list could go on.

We have a size issue with our uniform, as A falls into a size between the one assigned for her age, and the one below it. So we have to necessarily make do with a size a tad too large for a few months until the inevitable growth spurt combined with the (also inevitable) shrinkage of the fabric finally makes it fit over the second half of the year. I have a bone to pick with this year's set, though. What prompted the school to introduce formal trousers a certain grade onwards, when they already had such comfortable and serviceable track-pants till now? And why the change in the design of the skirt? The earlier one was smarter, IMO. And what's with the sweater in place of the jacket? Now one has to choose between shivering without it, or cooking with it, on days that are pleasantly cool. With the jacket, one could just put it on and keep it unzipped if it wasn't so cold. :(

The books seem interesting, with more focus on 'think and answer' and research oriented questions in the exercises. We recognised quite a few of the chapters and poems from the English books as excerpts from books we already have/ have read. Math is getting interesting now, as is science. There is certainly going to be more work this year, but it promises to be interesting. We just need to start focusing. Something that has been a work-in-progress for a long time now.

The problem of peers. That, too, has been a work-in-progress for a long time, now. As A tends to put it, she isn't cool enough for her peers, what with her propensity to prefer reading over all the other pursuits of the cool gang. We have a self-esteem issue here that we have been tackling for over half-a-decade now. Keeping fingers crossed.

Extracurriculars seem interesting with theatre and violin classes in the offing. As also the Indian classical vocals after school classes.

Reading? Yes, we plan to a lot of that this year too. Some of it as an adjunct to the curriculum, but most of it not.

Looking forward to a new year of learning and living life.

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Met UTBT, fellow blogger and a wonderful and hugely talented co-contributor at Saffrontree. Finally. This was her second visit to my city. Choxbox managed to meet her the first time she was here. I missed her then on account of the kid's birthday party.

She is an elfin lady, and every bit as lively and witty as she comes across online. Have just received a gift sent by her through flipkart. Seems like she has taken the hugo-mungous hint I gave here! The parcel was grabbed by both hands and ripped open immediately...

...and immediately browsed through!

Thank you, UTBT! We love the thoughtful gift! Cannot wait for the kid to come home from school and show it to her.

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My house-help had been ill for the past two weeks. She had been ill on-and-off for a couple of days at a time over the past two  months. I kept urging her to go to her doctor and get some treatment, to which she would say yes and ignore my advice. So this time when she became ill enough to not come for three days at a stretch (Amma is a dedicated, conscientious worker, who has been with me for many years now, and is my Woman Friday), I decided to take things into hand. I took her to the clinic we go to for minor maladies, one which has a reasonably well-equipped path lab.

After I spent a good half-hour acting translator between a Malayalam-Hindi-English speaking doctor and a Kannada-Telagu speaking Amma, miming some medical arguments my pidgin Kannada couldn't express, we got her to agree to a blood and urine test that she was mortally frightened of. The doctor gave her some tablets for symptomatic relief while we waited a day for the lab results.

Amma disappeared from the next day. There was no response to my phone calls to her home- the phone consistently happened to be 'out of reach'. Finally, I made my way to her house, and found an Amma who was now asymptomatic, but very weak. Her lab results and the doctors diagnosis mandated a course of antibiotics- it was a low-grade infection, that nevertheless popped up intermittantly, and was curable by a suitable course of antibiotics: an opinion with which I concurred.

Amma just could not be convinced as to the need for further medication. After all, she no longer had the symptoms, though still weak from hypoglycemia as she had not eaten properly over the last few days due to a lack of appetite and fear of throwing up. I finally made her see sense after enlisting the help of two other ladies at whose homes she works as well as at mine. We now see that she has her morning dose at my place, as she eats lunch here, and hope that she has the other dose at home after dinner! Doing some of her work myself for some time, until she has recovered completely!

Again, fingers crossed. I owe much of my free time to her attention to my home.

Of summer and lemonade

This vacation, we won't be travelling anywhere, and we opted out of keeping busy with summer camps. Except for one that will be held in May over a period of two weeks, at the school.

So the plan was to read a lot, practice our music, have meaningful social interaction with friends, ditto at home, do all the art and craft that we wanted to do all year, but couldn't due to more pressing matters, follow-up a bit on school work done in the past and to be done in the future- in short, just chill.

After two weeks of chilling out, A and a friend in the complex came up with the idea of some enterprise- they decided to cash in on the extraordinarily hot summer for my city, and put up a lemonade stall for an hour everyday.

We decided to use this as a learning opportunity while having fun. So the girls first did a market research. Facilitated by me.

First to decide on the days, time and place. After much scouting around and discussion, the girls decided on a week, everyday in the evening from 5.30 to 7, next to our clubhouse. The idea was to keep it to a manageable number of days, and to catch the crowd that mills around playing or swimming in the pool.

Then they made a poster (they spent the whole afternoon one day doing it in summery colours) and put it up on the main complex notice board.

Then we decided on a recipe for the lemonade. One that would minimize work and serving time at the stall.

Squeeze out the lemon juice and strain it. Measure it.
For every measure of juice, take three measures of sugar, in a thick bottomed vessel.
Pour in water just enough to cover the sugar. Heat, stirring till the sugar dissolves. Bring to boil, and let it boil hard for a minute or so.
Take off as much of the greyish froth that comes up and discard. This contains most of the impurities in the sugar. Switch off the heat.
Let the sugar syrup cool for a few minutes. Not too much, or it will start re-crystallizing. Pour in the lemon juice and stir to mix well. Add a bit of salt. (This is to taste.) Your lemonade concentrate is ready.
Cool completely and pour into bottles to store in the refrigerator. It will stay unspoiled in there upto a month.
While serving, pour a large tablespoonful in the glass, add water, stir. Add optionals like ice cubes, flavouring (we decided on offering a choice between ginger powder, black salt, chat masala, elaichi powder, jeera powder and original), and your lemonade is ready!

We then went to different shops and compared prices of lemons, sugar and paper cups. We decided on paper cups as a mean between convenience (we did not have enough washable ones- which would also need to be washed every time, with possible hygiene problems) and environmental consciousness (no disposable plastic. Although paper cups also have a minus, they are at least biodegradable! ) and bought from a place that gave us the lowest price with a fair quality. Flavourings were at hand at home, so I decided not to add them to our costs. (Maybe next time I will!)

So the stuff was bought after costing was done, and the concentrate was made under adult supervision. I went with them to the shops, cut the lemons open and boiled the syrup. Everything else was managed by the two.

So they were all set with bottles of chilled water, lemonade concentrate, paper cups, small boxes of flavourings, ice cubes in an ice box, a bunch of spoons to measure out and stir, a money box with some change for the customers, a notebook to make tally marks in. Each glass was to be sold at Rs 5.

Day 1: Novelty is king. Many people came over to check out the lemonade and had at least one glass. Some gamely tried (this group includes us parents and parents of friends) each flavour in turn. The first day was a success.

Day 2: Some more of those who had not had any turned up. There were those from the children in the age range 6yrs- 14yrs who came again. One of the boys appointed himself 'the marketing man' after negotiating with the girls for a free glass every day. Also, every 100th glass was declared to be 'on the house.'

Some feedback came in the form of- keep a larger glass option too, and service should be a bit faster.

Day 3: Time to act on the feedback. We got a set of slightly larger paper cups, and kept them as an option for Rs 8. Also, some bottles of ready to pour out lemonade was kept, to be dispensed when a large crowd cam all at once. Fairly good sale, but not so much as the first two days. Fewer of the grown-ups came, though there was one couple who came every day. The 100th glass was dispensed to one of the kids who was a 'regular.'

Day 4: No adults, except said couple and doting parents. The crowd of children, though hung around from the beginning to the end, digging into their pocket money for repeated cups in different flavours and socializing. It was a party atmosphere.

Day 5: Ditto day 4. This time, the girls put on another offer. Anyone who wanted to take home some lemonade for their family was to get their own bottle. A half litre bottle would hold 3 glasses and cost Rs 15. A one litre bottle holding 6 glasses would get a volume discount @ Rs 25.

A few children got bottles, and the sale became a bit more brisk. The 200th glass was dispensed.

Day 6: It started raining in earnest from 3pm, and the girls were worried, as the stall was held in the open. They discussed the possibility of putting up a notice that the stall would be held the next morning if it did not stop raining. An idea that was finally shot down. It was decided to hold shop just inside the clubhouse, sheltered from the rain.

The discussions delayed things a bit, and by the time the girls reached the clubhouse with their stuff, there was already a crowd waiting.

Sale- ditto day 5. The idea of bottles caught on really well, and they sold more bottles than individual glasses. Even the children who wanted to drink right there and socialize now bought half litre bottles and stood around guzzling from them. Some adults too returned.

Day 7: The shopkeepers declared at the beginning that it was the last day, and anyone who wanted to buy should do so at the earliest, before stock finished. The news spread around the kid grapevine, and friends' friends also came. A veritable social network was in action. We were sold out within the first half hour, and there was a clamour for more. Maybe some other time.

The girls put in their own pocket money as capital- Rs 250 each. At the end of the week, the profit was Rs 152 each. Not bad.

A good lesson in costing, sale, market dynamics, social networking, mutual cooperation (the girls did not see eye-to-eye on all things and there was a lot of negotiation), basic calculations, (calculating the change to be given to customers) time management, handling pressure and customer feedback, and a lot else.

A lot of fun, too.

Book Review: The Agenda of the Apprentice Scientist

Today is World Science Day and World Read-aloud Day, and yesterday was World Math Day. 2012 has been declared the National Mathematics Year in honour of the 125th anniversary of Ramanujan's birth. Today is also International Women's Day.

What better than to celebrate it with a book originally written by a woman physicist of some note, translated from the French into English by another woman? A book that encompasses all branches of science, as well as math.

Being in a montessori environment at school upto grade 3 meant that hands-on experience played a major part in my daughter's learning at school. Even now, in middle school, she prefers to be explained things through experiment. Quite often, when she is not quite convinced about a concept taught in the more by-rote manner, I found that it helps to get down to the hands-on method. So when I found this book, I knew it was just the right one for her.

The Agenda of the Apprentice Scientist
Written by Nicole Ostrowsky
Illustrated by Theresa Bronn
Translated from French by Radhika Viswanathan with Gillian Rosner
Published by Universities Press
Ages 7-70 (as it says in a foreword by none other than CNR Rao.)

As parents, we come across this experience almost daily- whether in the sphere of academics or otherwise- our children ask us something, and sometimes (OK, a lot of times) it is something that we may not be very sure of ourselves. When I am faced with such a situation, I often try to explain it to her, regardless, but smart cookie that she is, she sees through the attempt. Then I have to admit I need to learn more about / think through about the topic at hand, before I can explain it to her to her satisfaction.

Dr Nicole Ostrowsky, former head of
Laboratory of Physics and Condensed
Matter, University of Nice,
Current Professor Emeritus

So the acid test of whether one has understood something or not is if one can explain something to a child in clear, simple terms. That is just what this book, written by French physicist Dr Nicole Ostrowsky, who believes in a hands-on approach to education, is about.

There is one new idea / question / problem to ponder on for each day of the year, so we are introduced to 365 concepts, some known, some unknown. All fun to work on. The experiments involve easy-to-obtain-at-home articles, and some days it is just an observation that needs pondering on.

Of course, true to her interest in the field, Dr Ostrowsky deals more with physics here, with quite a bit of spillover into mathematics and the other basic sciences. Each day's topic eases into the next days at many places, with a whole spectrum of ideas discussed over many days.

An example - the topic of temperature and thermodynamics with these headings:
Aug 18: Are you a good thermometer?
Aug 19: Let's start again!
Aug 20: Step outside your house at night.
Aug 21: Does a dog need a coat?
Aug 22: Fast freeze and slow freeze.
Aug 23: Freeze- the old fashioned way.
Aug 24: Gabriel (Fahrenheit) made some funny choices.
Aug 25: Let's simplify.
Aug 26: Blow hot and cold.
Aug 27: Why do we blow on our soup to cool it down?
Aug 28: How do you dry your hair?
Aug 29: Look at the mirror in your bathroom after a hot shower.
Aug 30: Where does rain come from?
Aug 31: Evaporation+condensation=distillation.

All this with many more questions, and very clear explanations as footnotes.

My favourite features, the quirky illustrations and the relevant quotes on each page! On the Aug 24 page-look above- there is a quote by Jean Loup Chiflet-"It was so hot that the thermometer read: see the next column!"

Book cover image courtesy flipkart, Dr Nicole Ostrowsky's photograph courtesy blog.hippocampus.in.

Crossposted at Saffrontree.

Book Review: The Diddakoi

Pic courtesy flipkart

The Diddakoi
Written by Rumer Godden
Cover illustration by Christian Birmingham
Published by Macmillan Children's Books
Ages 8-12 yrs

I've learned a lot about adoption and attachment from Sangi's posts, and there are many nuances to the whole issue that I would not have otherwise being sensitised to. Thanks, Sangi!

So it was hardly a surprising thing that I unwittingly picked up quite a few books that deal with that on different levels. A few are books for children, and here is one of them. A complex, well written book that draws one into it.

A spirited, half-gypsy, half-Irish girl. An orphan. A misfit at school, targeted with some serious bullying for being different. The fact that 'normal, nice' children can, in fact, be very cruel, especially if they reflect the prejudices of their elders. The fact that prejudices can lead to fear of a situation/ person, and that it can become difficult to overcome.

An ordinary 'Miss Marple-ish' British village in the 1960s where everyone knows everybody. A legal care system where the best interests of a child is decided by the letter of the law, and not by what the child would want, or what might be truly best for the child. Some well meaning going wrong. Others unaware of their own ability to give and heal.

'It's good of you, Edna,' Miss Brooke repeated, but it might spoil your holiday. Besides, I don't think Kizzy would go.'
'Heavens, you don't have to ask her.'
'I think I do. People should always be asked before being disposed of.'
'A child?'
'Children are people, Edna,' said Miss Brooke as she had said it to Mrs Blount.
'Well, please yourself,' said Mrs Cuthbert. 'But I tell you, Olivia, that child's too much on your mind.'
'Isn't that what she came for?'
'For what?'
'To be on my mind.'

An ordinary children's story of extraordinary meanings, the book takes one on a roller coaster ride of emotions, which nevertheless unfold very gently at times and with the dramatic quality of a tempest at others. That brings home to us the fact that the human spirit is more resilient than one can imagine, and that we all that the light with the dark in all of us. That patience, love and care can wrought wonders.

Rumer Godden herself was very difficult, and different in many ways as a child, and in this book she writes from  her own memories of it. Kizzy Lovell, our central girl character, the 'diddakoi'=half-gypsy, who is picked on by the other children for being different, and who is in the centre of a controversy over who should foster her, and how, is a throwback to that childhood. In some ways Kizzy reminded me of some of Enid Blyton's similar characters- Carlotta from the St. Clare series, and Lotta from her Circus books.

This is her best known book for children, which got the Whitbread Award in 1972. It has been called "the sort of book children had to fight for to get it from adults". The book should be read in the context of the period in which it is set, as there is much that can be considered 'politically incorrect'. And inspite of the many negatives, the many questions it raises, especially in young minds, it is an incredibly uplifting book, with a happy ending. A loved it!

Crossposted at Saffrontree.   

Book review: No Talking

No Talking
Written by Andrew Clements
Illustrated by Mark Elliot
Published by Simon & Schuster
Ages 8-12 yrs

Middle Grade School. Boys v/s Girls. Each thinks the others stink. So what happens if they get into a conflict over something worthwhile? Just what happens in our book.

Dave Packer, while preparing for a class presentation on India, comes across the story of Mahatma Gandhi, and is inspired by the principles of non-violence, non-cooperation and the disciplining of the mind by not talking.

"And it made him wonder what that would be like--to go a whole day without saying a single word...if not talking would bring order to his mind too." For that was something the fifth form was notorious for- talking, talking, talking- in class, at lunch break, in the corridors, on the playground- every thought thought out aloud!

Dave decides to put the idea to a test. He soon comes up against jeering by the girls, one girl in particular- Lynsey Burgess. Who takes up his challenge on behalf of all the girls. Starting that lunch period, all everyone was to hold their tongues completely. For the next 48 hrs. The 'maun-vrat' would be broken only after lunch break on the second day. They could talk only if a teacher or parent spoke to them directly, and even then they could speak only three words at a time. After school hours, they were supposed to be 'on their honour' and report any transgressions truthfully. It was a Boys v/s Girls contest- to be fought to the finish!

The teachers become aware of something strange in the air almost immediately. The quiet was unnatural, for these were the Unshushables- who even had a separate lunch break to themselves, with teachers hovering in the hallway, trying to keep down the decibel levels. "Mrs Hiatt, the principal, didn't want the noisy behaviour of this group to infect the other children at her school."

How does the experiment proceed? How does each teacher react to it? How do the students handle the indignation of Mrs Hiatt, who takes the whole thing personally, and tries to break what she feels is the students' non-cooperation in behaving normally? What is learnt in the whole process-- by the students, and by the teachers? Who wins, Girls or Boys?

A wonderful book about conflict in middle grade school, by Andrew Clements whose book Frindle has earlier been reviewed on Saffrontree. A book about the power of the mind, the power of the spoken and unspoken word. About people power. A fun book about recognising when to fight and when to let go. About communication, about the use and misuse of language. About standing up for yourself if you are right.

Image courtesy flipkart. Crossposted at Saffrontree..

The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind



Pic courtesy flipkart

THE BOY WHO HARNESSED THE WIND
Creating currents of electricity and hope
Written by William Kamkwamba and Bryan Mealer
Cover illustration by Mary Schuck
Published by HarperCollins
Ages: YA / 15+

William Kamkwamba was a regular boy growing up in Kasungu, Malawi, Africa. His father was a farmer living off the land, a hardworking, honest man, who nevertheless found it difficult to feed his family of a wife, six girls, and a boy, with his yearly crop of maize and tobacco. The tobacco would be sold to pay for the children's education, and the maize would feed them...until the middle of the year. Then there would be the struggle to make it last till the next harvest. It was a dreary, difficult life, with not much hope for any better future. Added to that were ignorance, an overall poor state of education, rampant health problems like AIDS, superstitions that were crippling in their belief in magic-- not science, lack of basic amenities like drinking water and electricity. There was also the frequent failure of the rains, leading to a failure of crops, compounded by a tyrannical and indifferent government. All problems that are usually associated with the third world countries.

There was one such famine in 2002 when William was 13, leading to widespread malnutrition and deaths. William's family managed to scrape through it, all of them working odd jobs for a bit of food. There was of course, no money for school fees, and he and his sisters all had to drop out. The following year, there were better rains, and food was manageable, but school fees still were a problem.

William, though, had a keen mind and a thirst for knowledge. While many of his peers loafed around, he would go to the local library, and try to read, (there was a local library with books donated by charities) even though his English was not very good. He chanced upon two books, Explaining Physics and Integrated Science, which lucidly explained the science behind common objects with line diagrams. Using the concepts there, he tried creating electricity with the help of a bicycle dynamo to power a radio. Soon he found another book, Using Energy, which fascinated him with the pictures of windmills on the cover. This gave him his 'eureka moment.' He decided to build his own windmill.

"No more kerosene lamps that burned our eyes and sent us gasping for breath...I could stay awake at night reading instead of going to bed at seven with the rest of Malawi. But most important, a windmill could also rotate a pump for water and irrigation...No more skipping breakfast, no more dropping out of school. With a windmill, we'd finally release ourselves from the troubles of darkness and hunger. In Malawi, the wind was one of the consistent things...A windmill meant more than just electricity, it was freedom."

In the rest of this amazing and un-put-downable book, William recounts his struggle to find material for his windmill in the junk heaps around the village, the hounding by the villagers who considered him crazy, the painstaking putting together of the parts, the support by his family and close friends who helped out at crucial points, the setbacks, and finally, the sweet taste of success.

William's first windmill next to his house.
Pic courtesy Tom Reilly

Soon word spread to neighbouring villages and towns, and people would come in hordes to see this 'electric wind' (as he called it in his local language, Chichewa), and it caught the attention of the media and academics. It was remarkable that a school dropout with not much formal education had achieved what many who are priviledged cannot- found a way out of the darkness harnessing a natural resource- with just a few basic science books at his disposal.

He was invited to be a TED Fellow, and this platform brought his acievement to the notice of the world, along with the spreading word on the blogosphere. It was at the TED conference that he met Tom Reilly, the TED Fellows Director, who would help to launch the Moving Windmills Project  for self-sustainable economic development in Malawi. Since then, William's village has seen unprecedented development, with wind power and solar power at the forefront. William is also all set to complete his education, with dreams of a brighter future for his country.

It is an inspiring story- one that should be widely read. The first few chapters give a stark picture of the poverty and deprivation which make William Kamkwamba's enterprise all the more spectacular.

This is a book for older readers-- 15years +, so I told A the story as I read through it, reading bits aloud to her. There is a Young Readers Edition due to be out in January 2012 that I'll be looking out for.

There is also this video that tells William's truly inspiring story in his own words. After watching this, A is keen to get her hands on the book.



Crossposted at Saffrontree.

Will be entering this review for the 2011 Global Reading Challenge under Africa, and for the Reading the World Challenge 2011 at Papertigers for myself.

Review: Saraswati's Way

Pic courtesy monikaschroeder.com

Saraswati's Way
Written by Monika Schroder
Published by Frances Foster Books
Ages 9+ years

"Nothing changes because of our doing. It's all in the hands of the gods." That is what Akash is told all his life. Gifted in Maths, all 12 yr old Akash would like to do is learn more, study and win a scholarship to a school in the city. Life has other things in store for him, though. His father dies, and Akash is sold off to the landlord to work off the family's debt.

Working at the landlord's quarry, breaking stones, Akash soon realises that there is no way out, except to run away. He escapes and lands up in the big city. At the New Delhi railway station, he is befriended by a gang of boys, who make a living by scavenging, stealing and drug-traffikking.

Akash does get tempted by the easy means of making money, to pay for a tutor in Maths, but his faith in Saraswati, the goddess of learning, brings him back on the right path. He is enouraged by Ramesh, the magazine stall owner on the platform who recognises that Akash is different from the other boys who work and live on the railway platform. He does not sit back waiting for the gods to act, but goes about finding his way proactively.

Is Akash's faith in himself vindicated? How does Saraswati show him the way? Does he realise his dream of going to a good school?

Monika Schroeder, the author, is of German origin, and has been a teacher in schools in many developing countries, and was a librarian at the American Embassy School in New Delhi at the time of writing this book. While reading the book, I was struck by the minute details about Indian customs and street life of the vagabond boys that the author seemed to be familiar with. Yet it was clearly an outsider's view. There was a clarity to the descriptions that is usually not found in the writing of someone who has grown up with the culture. It also had the unmistakeable stamp of making things understandable to a non-Indian. Like I found in this book. I was curious to know how she could manage that fine balance.

Searching online, I found a discussion between Uma Krishnaswami and the author. Ms Schroder speaks about her life in India, and the challenges in understanding and writing about a culture so different from the one in which she had grown up. She also speaks about her efforts to learn about the life of street children in India, so vividly potrayed in this book.

As she says in the author's note at the end of the book, "One of the sad aspects of living in India is seeing the effects of poverty on children. A boy like Akash has only a slim chance of fulfilling his dream in contemporary India. Yet I wanted to write a hopeful book about a child who, with determination, courage, and some luck, achieves his goal against all odds."

A Crystal Kite Award winner under Middle East/India/Asia for 2011.

A was fascinated by Akash's proficiency in maths, and we learnt a few tricks from vedic maths that Akash tries to teach the boys that befriend him. A system we will certainly want to explore more fully!

Click here to watch a trailer based on the book. Worth a watch.

Crossposted at Saffrontree.

Stuck in a time warp- have tried to fix it!

(EDITED TO ADD: It didn't work. At least, there is no update on my dashboard.

HELP!)

A lot of you know that I had some problem at my blog a few months back at which time I had made my blog private. At that time, I changed everything about my blog, the URL, the blog name, and the template.

After having taken a breather, I had re-opened my blog to the public, keeping the settings to 'do not let search engines find me', and in the process, fiddled around quite a bit with all the settings. Ever since, there has been this issue of my followers not being updated with my new posts. In fact, some of them who have displayed my blog on theirs, with the title of the post, still show it as the last post I had written before all this happened.

A few of you, like Choxbox and Artnavy mentioned a few times, on my blog, as also directly to me that my posts were not getting updated in their reader, or on their dashboard. They even tried to remove and re-add my blog, but nada!I couldn't understand why this should happen, as it wasn't a new blog- I had just made the abovementioned changes, retaining all my earlier posts. I also checked the profiles of a few followers, and saw that my blog name had automatically updated, so it wasn't as if blogger was getting confused between the old and new URLs.

I tried looking for a solution on Blogger Help, but couldn't find any. So I just thought that this was one of those inexplicable things that I was not going to understand, and my loyal regular readers were anyway getting to my posts. So it's OK.

Until I got a comment from a new reader, Simran, seconded by Choxbox, that 'my new posts are not automatically updated.'  I decided that enough was enough, and that I needed to do something about it.

So I decided to 'follow' my own blog to see what happens, and sure enough, the blog name showed up in the left-hand side 'Blogs I'm following' section of the dashboard, but the right-hand side had this message-
"You have followed this URL, but we couldn't find a feed for it. Please check that the URL is correct."

So I did a google search again, with the exact same words, and I found some very clearly stated help. I needed to change my 'Site Feed' settings to 'Full' and keep the rest of it blank, unless I had subscribed to Feedburner, which I haven't. I decided to try it. Let us see what happens. I hope it works.

The person who gave the solution to the problem said that "You will need to create a new post to push it out to other people who have followed. Previous ones will not update."

So if you are getting this post updated, it has worked. If not, can anybody who knows what is happening please help me?

Reading to A- and a 100 stars in my sky

THIS IS MY 100th POST.

I thank you, all my friends, for reading what I needed to say, and encouraging me along the way. I have learned a lot along the way, and have got to know some wonderful people.

And what better way to mark it than to speak of some books A and I have loved reading together?

But first, an update: We have already received all five of the picture postcards that we were expecting as part of the 2011 international postcard swap for families hosted by Zoe over at Playingbythebook, a wonderful person who blogs about books for children, and the fun her girls have working with those books.

And now for the rest of our post, on reading aloud to A, and- you guessed it- Harry Potter.

*Spoiler Alert * Do not read the rest of the post if you want to find out for yourself what happens in the seven books!

Recently Prabha, a co-contributor at Saffrontree wrote to me about her daughter K, all of 9, beginning to read the books, and how she was a bit apprehensive about it. Understandably so, as the books have much that could be 'iffy', depending on the POV. They are unslottable to a large extent, as the age spectrum of those enjoying them seems to stretch from kids as young as 6yrs (it makes me wonder how many GET them? Isn't it a disservice to them if we let them read this stuff at such a young age, robbing them of the pleasure of discovering them when they are actually old enough to grasp the full import of what they are reading?) to adults.

Prabha says, "I thought it offered a lot of meat to go over. The sheer number of characters, the plot, the writing and to carry the reader through seven books- kudos to JKR!...Do let me know your thoughts, S, about your experiences...K will continue reading them this year...I didn't mind letting her watch the movies before finishing up the books...the movies have given a lot away, but I am glad she now has a frame of reference and can absorb things better and all those that the movie hasn't covered, and enjoy it for the pure writing aspect alone!" 

Some time back, Starry had made this comment on one of my Potter posts:  "Nervous about introducing HP to Div...we'll start from Jan, I think we will go slow anyway with books 1 and 2, which are relatively lighter. Like the question A asked, I guess there will be many q's...I love the intricate plot and logic of every single thing in these books."  Div, too, is 9.

So here's what I feel.

I have always read aloud to A, ever since she could sit up on my lap. She loved it. So even after she could read on her own, we continued with our habit, except that I would choose books that were meatier, or were a little bit above her age group, either in terms of the language, or the content.

Language was handled easily enough, and there would often be a word, or a phrase/idiom that would baffle her. I explained these to her in terms she understands, and she often used them subsequently, sometimes with pretty hilarious results, but usually correctly.

Sometimes, the language of a book, usually an old classic, would be simple enough, but the narrative would be a bit tedious. At such times it helped that I was reading aloud, so that I could tide her over the boring bits in anticipation of what I knew would come. Sometimes, the old English would be difficult to understand, with quaint words not much used these days. That, too, could be rephrased while explaining it to her.

Content was a bit difficult. We have often embarked on a book, sometimes to abandon it after a chapter or so, as she could not really relate to it. Sometimes it was the genre- I found that currently she does not enjoy anything to do with horror; it gives her nightmares. It was not necessary that there be anything graphic- she didn't enjoy Morpurgo's 'The Giant's necklace'. But she enjoys the cousins of horror- she likes suspense, action and black humour, for example- a case in point are the books by Roald Dahl, a master of black humour.

Sometimes it was just that the content was too much for her age- she could not visualise what was happening, or relate to it. I would then just shelve the book, to return to it at a later date when I thought she might appreciate it better. We had to do that with 'Anne of Green Gables', which we had attempted at 8 yrs- I think the time may be right for it sometime now.

So at the age of 8, when she showed an interest in the Potter books, seeing as she would see me reading them, I wondered if they could be the next ones to be read aloud. We were reading aloud the two Alice books by Lewis Carroll at the time.

She loved them. She had already read Enid Blyton's Naughtiest Girls series, Tom Brown's Schooldays and What Katy did at School, so she had a fair idea of a boarding school system. This was like a natural continuation of that, with magic, just darker.

Books 1, 2, 3 were fine. She was a bit distressed by the targeting of Harry, the ostracizing that he has to suffer from his classmates, the mutterings, etc., in book 2. It did give us an opportunity to discuss how her peers perceive her as 'different' on account of her disinterest in bollywood, fashion, etc.

She would introspect a lot on what we read, and would throw up many interesting questions, which showed her insight into many complex aspects of the books. Some would not have occured to me, too, till then, and I needed to do a bit of thinking and analysing of my own to answer her. She does this with everything we read aloud, and sometimes it is troublesome- for eg., if the questions are asked at 7am, when we have a school bus to catch at 7.25, and I have lunches and breakfasts to prepare, the mind working on the next thing to be done on the schedule!:)

We finished book 3 around the time she was 8.5, and we discussed the options. I told her book 4 was a bit distressing, and that each subsequent book increases in its distress quotient, so we needed to take it a bit slow. She is to tell me if I needed to pause for a while or stop. She was fine till the chapter where Voldemort is resurrected, and then she didn't want me to read near her bedtime. So we finished book 4- and moved on to book 5.

In the meantime, we were also watching the movies as we progressed. I can understand about having a frame of reference while reading the book if the movie has already been watched. Can be helpful in placing the details in context. We have done that for so many books- notably those based on the classics- we saw Alice in Wonderland, Winnie the Pooh, Heidi, The Little Princess, Peter Pan, Pinocchio, and many more on screen before we read the books- and have enjoyed them thoroughly.

But HP, I think is about more than just the story, the incredibly wonderful characterisation, the rich imagination and impeccable English. Not all of it has come across in the movies.

It is also a story with a philosophy, with a lot of logic, the interlinking of plots, the way Rowling never introduces anything which may not be significant at some other stage, the way even her comic relief has a place in the larger picture. That mountains can be moved by faith, hope, love, compassion, courage, sacrifice, loyalty, team work and hard work. That even those considered too far gone can get back on the right track if only they wanted to. That there is always a choice.

Difficult for grown-ups, too, to grasp, to realise, to internalise. I am trying, too, and believe me, it is not easy.

I wanted A to absorb all that- which, I feel she is, and sometimes more, going by the questions she comes up with. I am sure these lessons will have to be reinforced many times over before she can internalise them, but they have been introduced.

She has all that in her mind while watching the movie- as also this interesting concept of alternative ways in which the story can go- since Warner Brothers have made their own changes to the story when adapting it to the screen. Changes I don't really like, being a purist of sorts as far as this series is concerned, since Rowling has got a tight plot, with all ends tied.

Anyway- back to the books. We went through book 5 with a lot of interest, as there are so many details here, and sometimes it feels as though Rowling is rambling, but isn't. As we reached the middle of the book, I prepared A for the unexpected ending. We spoke about how now that Voldemort is back, there are bound to be distressing things happening, sometimes quite unexpectedly- but how that has to be accepted, and even taken as a mark of the author's wonderful storytelling skills, the way she keeps one on the edge, wanting to know- what next? And packing a punch just when least expected. Inspite of this she was distressed on the death of Sirius, more for Harry than anyhing else, as she saw him as orphaned once more.

We finished book 5 sometime in March this year. She was quite upset, so I told her we'll put the rest on hold for a while. But kids are very resilient, and do a lot of growing up in a very short time. It is amazing. After we were back from Mumbai, she told me she wanted to finish the last two books before the last movie is released, as she wanted to watch it on the big screen. It helped, that two of her closest friends- Choxbox' FB and another girl at school had also finished reading all the books and were keen for A to read them so that they could discuss them. I would give full credit to both girls for restraining themselves from putting across any spoilers- just egging her on.

So I told her to expect more deaths, more distressing ones. We have just finished book 6 yesterday, and she seems to be handling it quite well. Book 7 is going to be bit different. It has a lot of philosophy packed into it, so I'll have to see how much of A really 'gets.' I think she is mature enough to handle just the story, and it wouldn't hurt to read it so that she can really enjoy the movie on the big screen.

A needed a bit of hand-holding through many parts of the series, but it might not have been this easy on her if she had had to read it by herself. While reading to her, I always omit reading out some distressing graphic bits- like yesterday when I skipped over the vivid description of the inferi creeping nearer to attack Harry and Dumbledore in the cave- stuff sure to have triggered nightmares. It will keep for when she reads them on her own- she is already through books 1-3 on her own.

Even if she had read the books on her own, I am sure she would have come to me with questions, but I would not have been able to anticipate her distress and prepare her for it. Although I am sure that the whole series has made her look at books and storytelling in a different way, and she has matured considerably in her reading- can go on to stronger stuff- reading to her or even on her own. Am happy about it.

Next on the cards- The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings books.  She can read Percy Jackson, Diane Wynne Jones, Cornelia Funke etc. on her own.

Will be getting back to the topic after we are done with the reading aloud of book 7. Till then!

It is never too late for mommy to learn

Sangi has tagged me with this very interesting tag. I need to pick out 5 things that being a mother has taught me. Hmmm...let's see.

1. Are you there, God?
I grew up in a household which put a lot of premium by God, prayers, going to temples, rituals, etc., but I was never convinced of the existence of the said almighty. If anything, I actively rebelled against all of what seemed to me to be a lot of foaming at the mouth over something that was not proven to be existing anyway.

Oh, I knew all the scriptures I was expected to know as a child- the mythology, the epics, the prayers, what could/could not be done- the works. I have to thank my grandmother for much of that.  Not complaining! It has definitely enriched me.

I was, however, entirely confused by a ritualistic approach to God- an insistance on the paraphernelia of religion- that one must have red flowers/ white flowers/ leaves of a particular plant/ coconuts, etc. for a God that seemed to me too petty to have wanted all that JUST SO. My belief thus bordered on atheism, but, as I feel sometimes, I threw the baby out with the bathwater. Pun not intended.

Having A was a miracle of sorts. I had her quite late, also having complications during pregnancy, a difficult labour and finally, an emergency C-section. The anxiety and heartache I went through during all this, and finally having her, healthy and whole, in my arms made feel that yes, there must be a God.

So did I finally get religion? Not quite. I cannot still abide by rituals. The occasional pooja I do, on festive days, is more to introduce this part of her culture to A, rather than for its own sake. I do not pray everyday, for then, I feel, it will become a meaningless ritual; or go that extra mile to get those red flowers/ white flowers, etc. I do pray the day I feel like praying, for, on that day, I know that my prayer is true and heart-felt, and it will certainly reach God. And A knows all the prayers, songs and stories that are part of her inheritance, her birthright as my grandmother's great-grand-daughter.

At times, I even feel close enough to God to quarrel or fight, if need be. When I feel the presense of the divine, my eyes close of their own accord and I bow my head. Spiritual yearnings? Maybe.

2. A smile in my heart.
"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." Osho Rajneesh.

When I see the affection A has for younger children, the raptures she goes into over any baby, see the affinity younger children have for her, I think back to myself as a child- heck, myself as a grown-up and wonder over how different she is from me in this aspect. As an adult, I loved babies, still do, and am a natural in handling the extremely fragile lovelies. But I normally cannot have easy coversations with older kids, unless they share my interest in books. I was never what you would consider 'mother material'. I never fantasised over having babies as she does, never wanted to get the little kids in the neighbourhood together to raise rabble. I was fine with my book in my corner, inhabiting my imaginary world, thank you very much!

When I saw the two purple stripes, and later A's heart going 'twinkle, twinkle' at an impossible rate on the screen at an ultrasound, I realised how much I wanted my baby. Connecting with her when in utero was an out-of-this-world experience, and I was absolutely smitten by her once I had her in my arms.

Please bear with me over the next paragraph.

The day she was born was an extremely hot day even by Mumbai standards. Since all AC rooms were occupied at the time, I was moved to a non-AC room temporarily, just for one day's time. A could not yet suckle, and as a result she got dehydrated. She was taken away by the nursing staff on duty for some time (the nursing home believed in rooming in; babies were NOT taken away to the nurseries like in most hospitals those days. AND the obstetrician was a dear friend, who had hand-held me through my extremely difficult pregnancy, with me going ballistic over things that could go wrong- a distinct disadvantage of being in the know in medicine) on the doctor's orders, so that she could be given some glucose water orally to tide over till she could suckle. The panic I went into over that was unimaginable. This was my baby. Where were they taking her? Why? So what if these were doctor's orders? Couldn't they do whatever they needed to do right there, in front of me? Blah, blah, blah, blah...you fill it in.

Love is here to stay. Always, in my heart. No matter what, no matter when, no matter how.

3. They are not always right, nor always wrong.
As a child, I often thought my parents were always right in everything, until came a time when I thought just the reverse. Now they could do nothing right. And one's peers also thought the same of their parents at the same time. So I often ended up blaming my parents for things that I did not do right.

While some of it may be true, (see, I have a long way to go yet!) I realise now as hands-on mom that my parents always did that which they thought was right at the time, and what was humanly possible for them. The realisation has gone a long way in making my peace with them over issues we didn't see eye-to-eye.

Something I hope my daughter also realises over a period of time- that her mother is just human, and that I do the best I can do, the best I believe I should do. I hope to God that it is the right thing.

4. Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down!
Coming from a background where my mother was the rulebook, and considering that I rebelled against it wholeheartedly, sometimes even to my detriment, I always thought that with my child I would be different. I would not do this, or that, that I would always talk to my child, explain things, do things right. I am not saying that I had bad parents, just that they were very conservative, old-fashioned, and pretty much followed the norms of the times they lived in.

I was living in a fool's paradise. No, not till she came along, but till she learnt to stand up to me and say NO! WON'T! pretty early in her toddlerhood. A true-blue Taurean, she knew very well how to dig her heels in and...err...so did I.

I had to go great lengths to unlearn all that I had absorbed. As always, I took the help of books. It was a lot of trial, and much more of error. Still is sometimes. I learnt that logic works more wonders with A than putting my foot down. I need to back off and calm down, be less authoritarian. I who needs to get my act together if I am to make any headway with teaching this lovely but stubborn as a mule child of mine the right things. Blogs by friends who are wonderful parents, like Starry,  Choxbox  and  Sangi help. Their views and extremely clear headed analysis of so many little things often show me the light.

5. It is never too late to get an education.
Having a daughter taught me so many things.
*That one cannot learn everything from books.
*That I cannot bear it when she is in pain, but have to be strong enough for both of us to make it bearable.
*Everything that is humanly possible is certainly achievable, especially if your child needs it of you.
*The human body is amazing- and this doesn't include just what they teach you at medical school. One can survive on the barest minimum of sleep, oxytocin and lots of TLC.
*That much more can be achieved by being patient and explaining things instead of laying down the law.
*That sometimes one is only human and wishes one does not have to explain things so much but can lay down the law!:)
*That one can have conversations with an extra-chattery child where one can switch off and yet make satisfactory rejoinders.
*That even though one loves the child so much, one can wish that someone takes her away for the day, on the stipulation that she is returned in the evening safe and sound. Sending her off to school is the best option.
*That the best part of the day is when A comes home with a smile and a hug for mommy, followed closely by the time in the morning when everybody, including the husband, are out and one can finally rest one's errr...backside with a hot, steaming cup of tea.
*That children can ask the darnedest questions. And one never has an answer for them when they are asked in company.
*That one has absymal / long forgotten / outdated knowledge about the things children learn as early as in middle grade. And that one has to read up a lot to be able to keep up.
*That it is a lot of fun to do things together, and it does not always have to cost a bomb.
*That the best times we have spent together are when we have sat together on the bean-bags near the wide open windows, reading aloud to her in the light streaming in from a book I have loved and wanted to share with her.
*That one has to exercise tough love at times and settle for being the bad cop- mommies often are, as they are the ones usually around. That certainly goes for SAHM mothers like me, as also for working moms, though that bit is slowly changing.
*That there is no single rule about how things should be done, although a large portion of love, faith, hope, belief in oneself and patience is required on our plate.

I have to tag five others as part of the rules. I would like to tag Starry, Utbtkids, Ranjani, Crazy mum and Arundhati.  Let us know what you think, ladies. 

CSAAM April 2011 - Books as aids to empowering a child to stay safe from sexual abuse

Link to csaawarenessmonth

Someone very close to me had been sexually abused as a 7-8 yr old child. She was not taken seriously by the adults, and the whole thing was pushed under the carpet. The way her parents dealt with it was by putting many restrictions on her, which she perceived as unfair, and the perpetrator was not apprehended. All her life she felt unloved and rejected, and it affected her in a very strange way, which I see now that is not very strange at all.

A victim of low self-esteem as a result of her abuse, she went through a series of relationships first as a teen and then as an adult, a way for her to feel loved, but could never really open up emotionally.

She was married off at the appropriate age, but she could not connect with her husband. Moreover, she had been told to 'keep quiet' about her past, but these things have a way of coming out. This drove a wedge between them, as the husband could not deal with it. She is holding on to the marriage as there are reasons they cannot split, but the damage was done.

This post is for her. And for millions like her. So that our children can be spared such pain.

As mothers, one of the main topic of conversation with friends is our children. Till now it had been milestones, diapers, pre-school, studies, etc. Of late, the talk has been more about growing pains, peer behaviour and sexuality. A very sticky wicket indeed. There are many worries expressed about the increased awareness of this in the children in their pre-teens, and in some cases, even in younger children. But talk about talking to their kids about it, and I've been subjected to incredulous looks or even stonewalling. One mother caught me alone one day and told me that there is no need to talk to the kids as they anyway get all their information from movies, and if we talked to them, they would think that it would be OK to do anything they want, as the parents themselves are providing them with information!

Until there was a near-incident involving a serviceman who tried to molest a 6 yr old, but was caught before he could do anything. The mother was horrified, and the child was petrified of stepping out of the house without her mother. She came to me, and we had a talk about the books I used to talk to A about it.

Being brought up by parents who never thought of speaking to me of these things, it had been uncharted territory for me, too, earlier. I was sure of one thing, though- my daughter would not go through the uncertainties I went through as an adolescent, or make the mistakes I have made- A would not suffer because of my discomfort or a lack of will or a distaste for matters. Also, as a parent, it was imperative that I keep channels of communication open with my daughter, and educate her in keeping herself safe.

So I extended my natural affinity for books to finding such as I could use to educate A. Even when she was a baby, I would keep my eyes open for relevant books that I may use when needed, and bought them. And they have come in handy. Some, I have found at libraries.

Let me begin by saying that literature for very small children does not lack cautionary tales.

We have a multitude of nursery rhymes which bring up the element of abuse and bullying, introducing these as a possibility. Think of Georgie Porgie kissing the girls and making them cry, or a great big spider coming along to bother Miss Muffet.

We have fairy tales like Little Red Riding Hood who was attacked by the Big Bad Wolf, or the Grimm Brothers' version The Wolf and the Seven Young Kids where the kids are attacked when the mother goat is out shopping, or those like The Snow Queen by Hans Christian Anderson and the parallel character of the White Witch in the Narnia series, - I could go on.

Then we have the book series like Berenstain bears books (Learn about strangers), the gentle, funny Mike Gordon books that make the kids think, like Safety, The Playground Problem, I Feel Bullied, Its Not Fair, I Feel Sad and many more that deal with peer behaviour, intimidation, feelings of sadness and guilt, etc, that are key terms in any kind of abuse, including sexual abuse.

Educating children about their bodies, biological changes at puberty and answering questions about gender and sexuality is empowering to the child as it dispels myths and insecurities brought about by information gathered from peers and the media, which can be really crippling sometimes.

There are many wonderful books that can be used with children, like Babette Cole's Hair in funny places, Mummy never told me and Mummy laid an egg.

Then there are the amazing selection of books by Robie H. Harris which however have the disadvantage of too much information in one book, which might not be all needed at the same time. Parents can however find these books a great help for empowering themselves to talk to their children, as well as use them with children if they feel comfortable about it.

These books, or maybe some other books that may be found with a quick search online, and which may be available at the local book store /or library may be looked up to use in teaching your child to keep safe. Here are some books used specifically by me on the topic at hand. Clicking on the link under the image will also take you to a more comprehensive list of similar books that may be used by parents to address their particular needs, as not all children nor all parents may have the same level of comfort, and may need a different approach.

That said, it is up to each parent to assess their child and choose the best age / method of educating their child, and if using a book doesn't work for them, that is OK, too. As long as steps are taken to protect the child.

Pic courtesy tarshi.net

THE YELLOW BOOK
A Parent's Guide to Sexuality Education.
Written by Tarshi
Published by Zubaan Books

A good book for any parent to read, it guides them through the why, when and how of sex education, dispelling any myths like- "if my child has this information, he/ she will be tempted to experiment." On the contrary. The book enables parents to ensure that their child knows how to recognise inappropriate behaviour, and is able to stand up against it.

So how does one speak to the child at different ages? Discussions appropriate for and understandable by teenagers may not be so for preteens or even younger children. The book discusses issues important at the different ages and the ways to approach them.

Other than the aspect of sex education and awareness against sexual abuse, the book also deals with topics relevant to peer behaviour like playing doctor-doctor, social images, sex talk, infatuations, experimentation, 'cool' behaviour, sexual harrasment, date-rape, substance abuse, intimate partner abuse, gendering, etc.
Empowerment is the way to prevent and deal with abuse. A comprehensive book.

Tarshi, the creators of this book, also have other books like 'The Orange book' which is a resourse book for teachers and schools, 'The Red book', which is aimed towards children 10-14 yrs of age, and 'The Blue book', which is for children older than 15 yrs. The last two are also available in many regional languages of India like Hindi, Gujarati, Bangla, Kannada, Marathi, Oriya, Tamil and Telugu.  

Having educated myself, I went about looking for books to share with my child. Found some great ones.

Pic courtesy barnesandnoble.com
Also available at flipkart

THE RIGHT TOUCH
Written by Sandy Kleven
Illustrated by Jody Bergsma
Ages : 4+ read-aloud

Bedtimes are quiet times, a time for Jimmy and his mother to talk about anything that they may want to talk about. They talk about hugs, and tickling, and surprises, and how all these would be a problem if he did not want them.

They talk about a girl, someone real, who he does not know, who was called by someone into their house to look at some kittens, and this someone told her that they would show her the kittens if she sat on their lap, and feeling uneasy about that, she ran away to her home, and told her parents all about it, and how the someone who had called her got into trouble over it.

They talk about when it is OK for someone to touch him, and when it is not. How parts covered by a swimming suit are out of bounds. How it is OK for him to say "NO!" Even if it is to someone older. Even if it is to someone he loves. Even if that could upset that person.

"If something like this happens to you, don't be afraid to tell me, even if it is supposed to be a secret. And remember, touching problems are never a child's fault."

The book has notes for the parent / caregiver that are very succint and helpful. A great resource book, suitable for children as young as 4 yrs old, with gentle text in the form of a heart-to-heart talk between a mother and her child, and lovely full page illustrations that will keep a child's attention riveted. There is nothing explicit in the book, and nothing that a 4+ yr old may not be ready for.

Pic courtesy barnesandnoble.com
Also available at flipkart

MY BODY IS PRIVATE
Written by Linda Walvoord Girard
Illustrated by Rodney Pate
Published by Albert Whitman & Co
Ages 8+

Much along the lines of the previous book, this is the story of Julie, told by her in the first person. She is at an age when she already knows that things belonging to someone are can be private, out of bounds to others. Like someone's personal letter, or her mother's handbag.

So it is a simple thing for her mother to broach the idea that the parts of her body covered by a swimsuit (I think this is a wonderful method of identifying their private body parts for even very young children) are private too, and that "nobody should touch me in those places unless there is a very good reason." She specifies that this holds true for boys as well as girls.

"It might be a stranger, or it may be someone you know, like a babysitter, a teacher, or a friend," Mom said, "or even someone in our family. It probably won't ever happen. You don't need to worry about it; you just need to know what to do-- the way you know what to do if a fire starts."
"I'd get mad," I told Mom. "I'd shout NO and run away."
"Good!" she said. "And you must come and tell me what happened...
...no matter who it is- I don't care if it's Santa Claus- you tell me...or some grown-up you trust...
...Never be afraid to tell. No matter what happened, it's not your fault."

Evocative sketches in black-and-white-and-sepia bring alive the easy conversations in the text to us, giving us a peek into Julie's family. With Julie, A also experienced a sense of empowerment in the affirmation that she had a right to say NO! Even if it is to someone she loves and trusts; someone who could misuse that trust!

A note for parents at the end of the book says "You need to feel comfortable talking about...or your child will pick up your discomfort and may be reluctant to talk."

Some of these books may have a younger age specified on them than the parent may be comfortable with for their particular child. Again, I would say, you are the best judge.

I used 'The Right Touch' first to broach the topic to A when she was about 7, as I didn't want to scare her. I sat and read the book to her, at a quiet one-to-one time. She had many questions, which, thanks to 'The Yellow Book,' I had satisfactory answers to. The third book, 'My body is private,' was a more recent addition, and one that she could read and comprehend by herself now, although we did read it through together. And yes, there were many questions now too, with better insight, thanks to her age and peer group.

I had never kept any caretakers for her, or ever had any babysitters, so I was with her at all times till she was almost 3. After that, I did keep telling her about how parts of her body are private, stranger danger, and how she needed to keep me informed all the time as to her whereabouts. More about that with our last book.

Pic courtesy amazon.com

COME AND TELL ME
Be sensible - and safe
Written by Helen Hollick
Illustrated by Lynda Knott
Ages 4+ read aloud
A read-aloud story to help prevent child sexual abuse.

All parents can identify with this book, whether abuse is a possibility or not.

When Jenny plays with her friends in the park near her house, her mother can usually keep an eye on her from their window.

One day, Jenny was not to be seen anywhere, and her mother became frantic looking for her. Jenny had actually just gone to her friend Darren's house with him for an ice-cream, and got scolded by her mother on returning.

'Jenny was upset and began to cry. Why was Mum so angry?
Back indoors, Mrs McCann gave Jenny a big hug.
"I'm not really angry," she said, "but sometimes worrying makes you say and feel things you don't mean."
"I was only at Darren's house," sniffed Jenny.
"But I didn't know that, did I?" Mum answered.'

Then Jenny and her mother had a long chat about strangers, and how they can sometimes, not always, be bad, and how it is not easy to tell the good from the bad. How sometimes we need to take help from strangers. But, how it is important that she must not go anywhere with anyone, or get into someone's car or house without first asking her parents, or her teacher, or a trusted adult who is looking after her.

Also that a person who does not mean her any harm will usually not object to her informing her parents, or will not ask her to keep anything that they say or do a secret.

"The best and the most important thing to do," Mum added "is to always come and tell me where you want to go,...as long as you tell one of us, we will know where you are and that you are safe."

The book gives relevant points for discussion with a child, and cautions, that when children do come and tell, "It is your part of the bargain, as an adult, to listen when they do come and tell."

I usually do that, sit down with a book when A is playing, so that I can keep an eye on her, and so that she can inform me if she wants to go elsewhere. And yes, going off to anyone's house is not allowed, except when they are people I know and trust.

Here are some more books, printed material and other resources for parents to use to keep their child safe from the big bad wolf. There are also books like this one recently reviewed at Saffrontree, which is an award-winning YA book dealing with abuse at home , or this book by Anita Naik for teens - 'Little Book Self-Esteem', a wonderful book that I intend introducing to A a few years later. (Click on the link for similar books dealing with self-esteem and bullying, major monsters for children to overcome.)

Crossposted at CSAAM and at Saffrontree.