Facing my fears

This post of mine made think a lot about fear and courage. So I decided to do a tag on fear. All you have to do is list 5 things that inspire fear in you and write about them. Then link it up with a book, (what else do you expect in a tag by me?!) any book which deals with fear or courage. And then you have to tag at least 5 people. And do not forget to link your post back to this post. Simple.

The big bad wolf. Fear, unfortunately, makes the wolf seem bigger. Fear. Wikipedia defines it as an emotional response to a perceived threat. Fear. A primal response necessary for the very survival of a species. The fight or flight response.

Most animals, as we know, attack or kill for two reasons only: hunger, in case of carnivores, and fear. To protect themselves, when they feel threatened. The higher the animal on the evolutionary scale, the more complex the reasons for fear. Human beings have developed fear into a fine art. We have reasonable as well as unreasonable fears. But even the unreasonable fears are very real for the person who feels them, and it is never a good thing to belittle them. They make us very vulnerable, however, and I think the whole thing about the 'macho man' is a result of getting into a denial mode.

The adrenaline rush experienced due to fear is, contrarily, enjoyed by many. The frisson of fear you feel while reading a good horror story or watching a thriller or on a roller-coaster ride is a version of fear. Whole industries have grown over this courting of the feeling of fear. Imagine watching one such horror movie in 3D!

Fear, on the other hand can be spine-chilling and mind-numbing, too. It can make one want to curl up and hide away from the world. It can make you want to give up.

Courage is the ability to face one's fears and look them in the eye. Not an absence of fear. Sometimes we do not know that we have what it takes to be courageous. We surprise ourselves sometimes when we stumble upon it.

So what are five of my biggest fears?

1.  Death is everybody's greatest fear. Do I fear death? To be honest, not the fact of death. But I do fear the manner of death. I hope when I get called, it will be peaceably, in my sleep. Out like a light.

2.  I am mortally afraid of becoming ignominiously physically and mentally dependent on anyone in my old age. I hope I never face that. I hate feeling helpless, and one of my greatest fears is being in a situation where I or my loved ones are at the mercy of others. Who knows what the future holds? But I certainly hope that I never have to face this fear.

3.  Vertigo. I am afraid of heights. My awesome experience of the Grand Canyon was marred by my unfortunate inability to stand near the edge and feel a thrill.

4.  Speed. I'm a scaredy cat here. Combine this one with the earlier one, and you have a person who absolutely refuses to go on any thrill ride. Las Vegas was a nightmare for me, and I happily stood holding our belongings while the husband went on every ride there was.

5. Snakes and creepy-crawlies. I remember as a child I would refuse to even look at pictures of these. We stayed in a bungalow then, and once during the rains, a whole bunch of baby cobras entered our verandah. I don't remember how we got rid of them, but I do remember being very very frightened.  I'm not so squeamish about pictures now, but the thought of one of those near me...EEK! We had gone to Gerry Martin's farm once where he demonstrated handling of snakes. Even his daughter, who is younger than A, can handle them! I stood at a safe distance and my repect for naturalists increased many-fold. I do wield a mean insecticide sprayer, though.

What about courage, you say? Well, I'll accept that my fears paralyse me. Most of the time.

A book? Here it is.

SOME THINGS ARE SCARY
(No Matter How Old You Are)
Written by Florence Parry Heide.
Illustrated by Jules Feiffer.
Published by Candlewick press.
Ages: 3+ to adult.
ISBN 0-7636-2147-1

Image: Courtesy Amazon.

A baby associates its mother with security. Even a very small baby clutches at the person holding it. Survival reflex. No baby needs to learn it. The same baby does not have any idea about an injection being a source of pain. It will gurgle away until the needle is stuck in. Then it will give a loud wail of protest, cry some, and then quieten. Try getting an older child who knows what an injection is to agree to an injection, and you'll have a perfect demonstration of fear. A shy child fearful of social situations will hide behind its mother. A person with stage-fright will go to any lengths to ensure that he/she never has to speak in front of a group. The same person will be OK in a one-to-one situation. Fear of the unknown is universal. Whether you admit it or not.

The author has given us a wonderful book, with all kind of fears a child (or a grown-up) can have. There is something here everyone can relate to.

Just some of these-

Stepping on something squishy when you're in your bare feet...is scary.


Thinking you're not going to be picked for either side...is scary.


Holding on to someone's hand that isn't your mother's when you thought it was...is scary.


Having people looking at you and laughing and you don't know why...is scary.


Climbing a tree when you don't remember how to get down...is scary.

And the best- Knowing you're going to grow up to be a grown-up...is scary.

The illustrations by Jules Feiffer are whimsical and reminiscent of Quentin Blake. Making a book on fear a fun-filled one for children. As it says on the blurb- A lot of things are scary...but they can be pretty funny, too. Jules Feiffer has, among other books, done the illustrations of that must read classic for children, The Phantom Tollbooth.

So get your thinking hats on, ladies, and let us hear from you. If something is too personal to share, we understand that you can't share it. But you can certainly come up five things that you can. Go forth fearlessly. I tag Choxbox,  Starry,  Artnavy,  Utbtkids,  Monika  and Usha.  That's an eclectic mix, if I say so myself. And I know I have tagged six. But I'm taking that liberty as the originater of the tag. Anyone else fearless/fearful enough to take it up is welcome to do so. And just your comments are welcome too.
  
Whatever fears we may have, there is always security in numbers. As I have quoted from a book by Michael Morpurgo in this post by me,  we may not always acknowledge our fears, but just the realisation that we are not alone helps.

"So I asked him...why he didn't just run away. And he said: 'Because of my pals. We're in this together. We look after each other.' You've got pals, haven't you, dear?"
"Yes," I replied, "but they like coming back to school. They love it."
"I wonder if they really do," she said. "Maybe they just pretend better than you."