She is born a woman.
When will her birth be celebrated without any reservations?
Will she ever be able to decide for herself?
Will she ever be free to walk out on the streets without strategizing:
Should I go?
Need I go?
Am I dressed right?
Will I be considered respectable enough?
Is the time OK to go out?
Is it safe for me to be out?
Which way will be safe?
How fast do I need to go to reach a safe place?
When will she be taken seriously?
Will the world ever realize that a no means a NO?
Will she ever be able to universally claim her right to an education?
Will she ever be able to express her thoughts and feelings without worrying about being ridiculed for it or about who might get angry over it?
Will she ever be able to live to her full potential without having to dumb down to conform to others' expectations of her?
Will she ever be able to be true to herself without being apologetic or being made to feel guilty about wanting to be herself?
Will she ever be able to see herself as a human being first, without the epithets of mother, daughter, sister, wife, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, granddaughter, nurturer, care-taker, house-keeper, cook, whore, entertainer? Will the world ever be able to?
Will she be able to perceive her self through filters other than those of fair, dark, fat, thin, short, tall, beautiful, ugly, black, white, yellow, brown? Will the world ever be able to?
Will she ever be considered a human being, with human wants, wishes, feelings, failings, without the halo or stain?
Will she ever be considered more than a means to an end- getting a male heir? More than a womb whose job it is to cater to the propogation of the (ironically) human race?
Will she ever be able to reclaim her right to her body, her thoughts, her feelings, her wishes, her life?
Will she ever be able to live a happy and fulfilling life on her own terms without everyone and their cousin attempting to control her choices?
Will her life be ever considered more important than any ideology?
31 year old Savita Halappanavar died a painful and unnecessary death in Ireland after being denied proper medical care. Her story is known to all by now. Her baby had already miscarried, and she was dealing with the heartbreak in a practical way- asking for a termination of the pregnancy as her life was in danger. She died a long and protracted, extremely painful death. An entirely preventable death. An immeasurable loss for her family- her parents and her husband. What kind of upholding of religion did this achieve? She did not even share that belief.
Both Praveen and Savita Halappanavar lost their baby. Only Savita lost her life.
She was born a woman.
Is this the kind of world into which I've brought my daughter?
I couldn't put my wish and hope for a better world for our daughters in words any different from these by a favourite poet, Rabindranath Tagore-
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake
Poetry, as relevant today as it was a hundred years ago.
RIP, Savita Halappanavar.
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This was a post hankering to be written. Savita's story was just the catalyst.
9 comments:
So So so true..that poetry by Tagore is a masterpiece and so so true!
I am so so sad for Savita..it just made me so unhappy :(
That poem is so touching, esp in light of what Savita had to go thru. RIP Savita.
So horrible that such a beautiful post was needed to be written on this subject!
I am watching her friends talk about her on NDTV, I hope their request for justice is heeded and this ridiculous, absolutely senseless, inhuman death is not forgotten.
It was shocking to hear some Indian religious heads saying "the aim should be to save both the lives, both the lives are equally precious..." They would have not said that if they had uteri. How do we empower some people to make rules about something that would never directly affect them and they know it? How cruel can faith and power make some people :(
That was such a heartfelt and sad commentary of the world we are living in -- one of religious fundamentalism and it doesn't involve only right wing Hindus, but fundamentalism of all religions all over the world. When will we learn that religion is meant to unite and not tear asunder? Is religion more precious than a life/lives?
Thanks, all, for your comments. It is sad that half the world's population is written off, de-humanized, identified only as a womb, their potential suppressed in the name of fundamentalism. Even those who are not really religious prefer to keep women "in their place" by denying her right to an opinion. You are so right, IHM. If only the rule makers had uteri and were directly affected by the laws they make.
That said, I would like to point out the Indian government's trigger happy response. Politicians, who I'm sure, must never have thought humanely about any women, are making statements about humanity. So easy to point fingers.
Savitha's case is an extreme example. What women's bodies go through during pregnancy is taken so lightly. There was an ass in a recent work training who would not accept that maternity leave cannot affect a woman employee's performance rating. He would not accept that a woman's body needs that 3 months or more leave after delivery. It starts there.
Baby steps...we'll get there...we are getting there. Remember to take the baby steps.
Sometimes I look at my daughter and pray and hope that she remains happy all her life, no matter what she chooses/does.
Baby steps, indeed, Starry. Sometimes it is two steps forward and one step back. But yes, there is some progress though ever so slow. :(
And yes, MEN can sometimes be such a******s!
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